Post 37:: Fuck the Haters That speak, Cause I Hate That You Breathe

yeah, my left shift-key button doesn't work, and i never use the right shift-key button, so there are going to be quite a few errors in this blogpost. it's not that i'm not pressing the key. i am. i just capitalized all of those i's. all of them. and that 'a'.
\groan\\
fuckin' . . . . nevermind.

my boyfriend is kind of a dick.
but whatever, mann. . . i mean. . . i don't know. i love him. he just has no sense of normal relationships. like, there's stuff that you just don't tell people. . . and he doesn't get it.  ohh well. i mean. . . he's just a little boy, after all. He acts so grown up and mature, but. .. .he's not.
it's ohkayy though. it's how all boys are. i just wish . .  gah i don't know what i wish.

new year's eve is coming !!! plans have changed, and victorian and i are going to some random bed&+breakfast in Romeo or some place like that. we've got a room and a laptop and movies and no mum. our plans so far consist of::
--> snacks
--> REPO: the genetic Opera
--> Sweeney Todd
-->Gypsy 83
--> The lion king 2
--> more snacks
--> wild partying
ohh and
--> strippers and popcorn.
LOL JUST KIDDING
about the popcorn

Anywayy my plugs keep falling out of my ears for no apparent reason. i've been wearing this pair for like,  . . the past year or something and they've never done that, but all of a sudden, they're like, 'cool, kayybye i'mma fall off now'' and i'm just like, 'ohh shit mann''. it's harsh.

tomorrow i'm going to Julia's house. I invited myself over. Cause i'm fucking boss.

i dyed my hair red

so deal with it, bitches.
yeahh it fucking glows.
i've been listening to Hollywood Undead too much.
i'm swearing like a motherfucking sailor.
but who cares, really. . . pirates are sexy and we all know it.
THIS MAN looks pretty good too. it's the longer hair and the clothing. so hot. i like my men older. lolkidding. i dated a 13 year old once.
anywayy
i'd like to forget about Tyler, thank you very much.
i really gotta stop blogging at such odd hours

Post 36:: Merry Vodka Christmas.

I'm kinda tipsy right now, I'm not even gonna lie.
Fuckin'. . .  . Christmas. . .  So terrible, mann.
SO TERRIBLE.
Said some things I really shouldn't have said, and then ran away. . . . and sat outside of the library, cause you know i'm just so fucking badass, awwwww yeeeeaaa.
I totally don't know what shirt size Aidan is, cause I've seen the tags on 8 of his shirts and theyy were all different sizes. So then I decided to go and look at the shirts that he had let me borrow. One was XL and one was S. So like, what in the actual fuck ?? I guess I need to wait for him to get home so I can ask him what size he is, cause. . yeahh.
Good news:: I'm getting a cell phone. Whoop-de-fucking-doo;; I'm almost 18, might as well buy my own fucking phone ? Derp.
Bad news:: my dad gets to pick it out and it's going to be pay as you go.
This is whyy it is going to be a shit-as-you-go:: Cause back in February or no, wait it was January, back when I had my own phone, I gave my dad $5 and he was like, 'unlimited texting ? Sure." and then two dayys later he said he got it for me. But guess what ? He didn't. So i went WAYY over my amount of texts that he had gotten me, not knowing that i didn't have unlimited.
So it's my dad's fault, right ?
Wrong.
It's somehow my fault.
BUT HOW IS IT MY FAULT. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I WAS DOING ANYTHING WRONG, HE TOLD ME THAT I HAD UNLIMITED.
Whaaaaaaaat.
Aah, my arms are so tired and I can already tell that I'm going to have a hangover tomorrow. . .I have to go to a cocktail party tomorrow, a black-tie-affair, and my hair is currently the colour of fuckin'. . . rudolph's nose. I'm not kidding. The first dayy i dyed it, it was literally glowing. In the dark. My family laughed so hard. .
Anywayy.
Whyy are theyy called cocktails ?
Is it because after you've had enough, the cock goes up your-- nevermind.
I spent wayy too much money this christmas and then I only got one thing for Aidan, i need to get him something else but I don't know what to get him, because i want it to be meaningful; last year I knitted him a scarf that was really nice. . . he said he loved it, but i don't know cause he never wears it as far as i can see, but whatever that's not my call. And it's not like i ever see him anywayy, so how do I even know ?
Hurmf.
Ideas, ideas. . .
Julia said to get him food.
i got him food for his birthdayy.
Ohh, his birthdayy.. . . I got him a birthdayy present ! He didn't get me anything for my birthdayy. Maybe the birthdayy present I got him can like. . . carry over into Christmas. .
. . . Nevermind. I'll just get him something else. I'll think of something and I'll give it to him, cause I heard he had a pretty bad christmas so far.
Gah, i haven't played League of Legends in like 3 dayys, NEW RECORD.
I miss Aserus. I bet he's leveled up. . . . . . I miss that kid.

For New Year's my mum and I are going to the Bavarian Inn or whatever that one place in Frankenmuth is; with the water park or whatever, and we're taking my second-cousin Robin. [side note:: Robin now plays League of Legends, and her username is Victorian Android (like her blog name)) and I am so used to calling her 'Victorian" that yesterdayy I called her 'Victorian" instead of 'Robin", i thought it was really funny, but anywayy i digress]] The only problem with this arrangement is that I'm kind of terrified of water ?? I'm hydrophobic and I don't swim. . Like, i kinda-sorta-KINDA got over that this Summer, but not really, I'm still scared as shit to go swimming, and I don't wanna go in past my knees, I would reallly rather just avoid water at all. . . Ohh and my dad isn't coming, cause he has 'obligations".
I'm tired of him bailling out. . there was so much tension todayy.
So much tension, doe. .
. . He's being such. . a jerk. . . lately. . . gotta go make another screwdriver because my mum just came in and saw that I was drinking, and she didn't even yell, she just sat down and cried while i typed and then asked me if I would make her one, so here we go bitches, drinking with my mum while i'm 17, ohh fuckyea.

Post 35:: Back To the Same Old Thing.

as you know from Post 33, my dayy has been such utter crap. And i really wanted to talk to this one guy. So badly. And then when we finally had time to talk, he wanted to play LoL. And then he went to play another game with his friend Ben, and I didn't want to play.
So he went and played without me.
I, of course, was a bitch about it to him.
But this time i feel like he deserved it.
Ben was feeling down. .. . that's great.
I'm sorry your friend was upset.
But guess what, there's someone else in your life who's upset, and she wants five minutes of your time to talk to you. When we talked earlier, he was playing minecraft. Then he wanted to play LoL. I'm tired of these games--literally. I know he gives me a lot and I know he makes so many sacrifices for me but sometimes it doesn't fucking feel like he gives a rat's ass about me.
Which i know is unreasonable, because I know he cares.
It just doesn't feel like it sometimes.
Like right now.

Post 34:: Leekspin and Body Parts.

So, my boyfriend watches the Leekspin videos. . . . . and apparently he dances around his friend's basement madly for the duration of them.
Obviously,  I've known about Leekspin for awhile. Hell, Leekspin.com used to be on my favorites.
But. . .. . . . he likes Leekspin ?
SINCE WHEN ?
I really don't know as much about him as I thought I did. . . come to think of it, I hardly know anything about his actual life at all. Like, he never tells me. .. . anything. . . . just when he's upset about something. I never hear about those random little things. Like what he had for dinner.
But I'm guessing if I knew what he had for dinner, I would just sit quietly feeling hurt that he supports the cruelty of the meat industry. So. Maybe it's better.
But.
Leekspin. . . . . . dayumn.
Also, the longest I've leekspun is 23:48. In case you were wondering.

Anywayy, i hate it when girls are like, "I hate my___".
And it's a body part that I've never ever thought to hate about myself.
This girl on Dailybooth was like, "this is why I hate my nose !!" And her nose looked fine to me. .
I was sitting there like, "but . . . what's wrong with your nose ?? It's just a nose. Are noses something to be self-conscious about ? Oh my god, what if i have a horrible nose and i never payyed attention to it. . . "

Thanks for making me insecure, random girls. Thank you so much. I haven't been having a problem with that as it is, obviously.


Ohh, so I was helping with this musical that was apparently 300 kinds of hot shit, and they're making it into a CD/DVD. I have doubts and speculations, but we'll see where this goes. \cough\\nowhere ?\cough\\

I want to write a story. . . very badly. . but I wouldn't know what to write about. I just. . can't think of anything. My mind, it's blank. . . I need inspiration. Someone inspire me.

Post 33:: Killing Myself Over College.

I'm not really going to kill myself. . . But I am very upset and I did cry a lot both todayy and yesterdayy.
Here's the deal::
I'm homeschooled, so my transcripts don't get sent anywhere fast. My mum didn't request that my transcripts be sent into Wayne, and i asked her to over a month ago. She said she had requested them, but todayy i got fed up with just waiting around and not seeing my admission to Wayne going anywhere anytime soon. So I called the office of Admissions at Wayne and then I called MODG [the homeschooling curriculum that's supposed to send in my shit]] and they were like, 'there was never a request for transcripts" and i was like 'are you fucking with me ?" only i didn't really sayy that because it's a Catholic homeschooling program and I didn't think theyy would appreciate it, plus I'm just a nice person.
Anywayy, so here's the thing:: I need the presidential scholarship. It's basically free college. . . and I'm eligible for it. So uhh. Fuck yeahh. And. I need this scholarship, but in order to get it, you need to attend 'Scholar's Day" and in order to attend Scholar's Day you need to receive an invite for it in the mail. But since Wayne hasn't gotten my transcripts yet, theyy can't even consider me for an invitation and the invites are being sent out in the beginning of January; My transcripts won't even be there by then.

If I miss Scholar's Day then I don't get a scholarship and if i don't get a scholarship then I don't get to go to college there and I have to go to Community College which is a nightmare for me and I refuse to do this.

Pretty much my entire future is leaning on me going to Wayne.
I refuse to go to stupid-people-college, aka Community College.
It's not that people who go there are stupid, it's that I personally think that I wouldn't get much from an education at a Community College. I could teach myself better than the professors there.

. .. . . guys.
This is whyy we don't homeschool our children.

Post 32:: Thanksgiving For Vegans.

This year, instead of going to my Aunt Kathy and Uncle Joe's, where I usually go, I got permission to go to my second- cousin Robin's house.
I AM SO EXCITED !!!!
In case I haven't said so already, Robin is a fellow Vegetarian/Vegan, and her mother is an incredibly wonderful cook. She makes boss pierogi, too. . .
Anywayy, I'm also spending the night there, which I'm excited for.
And she's making food that I can eat.
Vegetarian food.
Delicious food.
I'M SO HAPPY !!!!!!!
I don't think I'm going Black Fridayy shopping this year, but really.. . . who cares ?
I'm glad I don't have to wake up at some obscene time in the morning.

I am going to miss my Aunt Kathy's mushroom turnovers, though. . I wait all year round for those things. \\=

Post 31:: Karma Or Bad Luck ?

So, recently, I've decided to paint my room. . So I bought a gallon of grey paint. And I've painted about half of my room so far.

Yesterdayy, I had a bad dayy. My school files accidentally got deleted permanently, I complained a lot, I felt really under-appreciated, and my mother and I got into a yelling argument that developed into a full- out fist fight that was separated by my dad.
She didn't apologize.
Neither did I.

Todayy, I went into my room and found that my paint can, with a little over a third of a gallon left in it, had tilted over and spilled its entire contents across my floor, staining a lot of important papers, some clothes, a lot of socks, a purse, a stuffed kitten, my bed sheet, and a few pairs of shoes, not to mention sticking three pennies to my floor and coating the bottom of my dresser and bed.
It's grey paint, and nearly impossible to take care of.

Is it just my Bad Luck ?
Or is it fucking Karma. . .. .

Post 30:: I WANNA KISS YOU EVERY MINUTE EVERY HOUR EVERY DAYY.

So, guess what guys ?
After what seemed like a freaking eternity, a band that is particularly special to me has gotten back together.
THAT'S RIGHT.
THE DARKNESS HAS GOTTEN BACK TOGETHER AND THEY ARE ON TOUR.
THEY ARE ALSO WORKING ON A NEW ALBUM.
HELL TO THE YES.
"Hazel Eyes" and "I Believe In A Thing Called Love" have been on my favorite song list for forever. I am so happy about this. .
And of course "Christmas Time (Don't Let The Bells End)" is always a nice song =DDD

Anywayy, the last time that they played a song before 2011, the lead singer Justin Hawkins looked like this::

Now, in 2011, Justin Hawkins looks like this::

. . . . .
. . ... . . Justin Hawkins. What is on your face.
What is that mustache.
You look like a musketeer. . . .

Like really
WHAT IS THAT.
He still sounds as beautifully falsetto as ever, though. . so I guess it's ohkayy.

 I've missed you guys so much <3

Leftovers From Spain.

So, I realized that I never really talked alot about my trip to Europe. . . well, it was great, as I'm sure you can assume, but while we were there, there was a lot to complain about.  My roommate Megan had to write a blogpost every dayy about what we did, to be updated to the church blog, and she was stressing over it. I helped her with it a bit as well. One particular night, our friend Anthony was in our hotel room, and he sat down to write the blogpost. Remember, that he was totally drunk, and can't type well on a good day. . .This is what he wrote:: [I edited out the names for the safety of the people mentioned]]

"over the over night thing we got up at like 1 and we were like sweet sleepin in then we had bfast .............. guessw hat happoned E*** end of story. o ya we had mass...... super fun =) ...okay, i lied. so after like 30 mins of pointless talking from guess who? yup E***! we decided to head down. so we all got on this empty train thingy (metro) and it was empty so we were like sweet then 2 stops latter ITAILIANS................ "FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" we all yelled. as you know they all decided to to crame there smelly asses in the sub with us (joy).......... o ya more ppl got on every stop, it only took up like 3 hours to get to the end of the stop in a 1000billion degree subway=). fuck ya!!!! E*** said were here so we walked out and guess what....................... she got lost............ like 20 more mins went by and we all decided to walk away. Even F**** B** said, "fuck this shit!" i see were we have to go so we went to f8 we got are spot by the road and we made are forts out of paper lololololol jk that whould be dumb we made them out of sheets that the really awsome dude anthony nido brought. we even made him sleep in the cold............. why cuz we were asses........ so it was 113deg. durring the day and we all cryed but wait it gets better there were shit covered portijohns and when the vigIl went on there was a HURRICAIN!!!!!!!! luckaly i had a fort but from what i was told E**** dicided to call apont the nature spirits and cry for rain and thunder and it worked. so like 30 mins latter the storm subsided and we all got out so we bitched for like a hour and then it rained more. we went to to sleep NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we played cudle tag.
so now its daytime and it was a bit colder only like the same temp as the sun. so we went on are jurrny to go shit and piss but the jons overflowed..... yes im not jokeing..... they were litterly shooting shit at you. lucky magen didnt mind and manned up and went throu the nea deap shit covered flooor >:L <----- that was her face so we became happy.""

. . .so yeahhh, we all had a really, really good laugh over that. I'm still chuckling as I read it now. I don't know if it's a had-to-be-there-to-find-it-funny type of thing, but I hope you laughed or at least cracked a smile over that. I don't think I've laughed harder in my entire life than I did while reading what he wrote as he typed that blog post.  Nea deep shit  .. .LOL.
The bathrooms were really, really, REALLY bad though. Because there were no lights. . . the port-a-john WAS overflowing. So nasty, but guess what ? Even the overflowing port-a-john was preferable to the bathrooms, because there WAS shit all over everything. So. Fucking. Nasty.
'it was a bit colder, only like the same temp as the sun.". . . xDD It was so hot there; it was crazy. . . Gah.
So I have to go now, but yeahh. . bye =D

Post 29:: Same Old Thing As We Did Last Night.

My sister woke me up this morning for absolutely no reason. I was tired as all hell, but I couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up and walked around for a few hours, and eventually crawled back into bed and FINALLY fell asleep again. And then fifteen minutes after I got back to sleep, my mum got home from wherever she was, and woke me up, because 'it's late and the day is almost over already !!"
I didn't know the dayy almost- ended at 12.38, but ohkayy mum.
Then I went to type a paper, and i was so tired that I fell asleep in the office chair. And was woken up ten minutes later by my parents having a huge argument and yelling at each other.
So I gave up on sleeping and fled to the internet like any normal person would.

Link to this year's NaNoWriMo:: Read this and commet if you so choose.

My favorite song at the moment: is 'Our New Intelligence" by the wonderful band River City Extension. The song is off of their album The Unmistakable Man, and I, like I'm sure everyone else did, discovered them because of Warped Tour 2011's compilation CD. You should listen to this song and feel the wonder coursing through your veins as you realize you have no idea what's coming next. Like, most songs are verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, reprise of chorus.
This song just keeps you on your toes the whole time. Just give it one shot, it's about four minutes of your dayy.



Anyhow, that's all for now, kidds. Life has been a bitch to me lately, but you know what theyy sayy.
Be nice to your cock, and your cock will be nice to you.
Maybe that's just a random quote from Mark Hoppus of blink182, but it still applies to every situation.

Post 28:: Angelspit, Blood On The Dance Floor, So On And So Forth.

Last night [November third]] I went down to the Crofoot in Pontiac to see Angelspit, along with Blood On The Dance Floor.

I got to meet Zoog, DestroyX, and Matt James from Angelspit, and I took pictures with DestroyX and Matt James. I think I was a little starstruck for whatever reason, but I couldn't make myself ask Zoog for a picture. ]= But he did give me a hug !!! He only noticed me because my cousin Robin was there, and she had a Blood Death Ivory [Angelspit]] patch on her jacket, and he talked to her a bit. He was like, 'Oh my gosh ! Yes ! That's so cool !" and he gave her a hug. Not, you know, she leaned in to give him a hug. HE hugged HER. And then he hugged me a moment afterwards.

So yeahh, I met a little twelve year old that knew more dirty words than I did when i was 16. I was like, 'woah man. . ". It did not make me think that she was cool. It made me really sad about future generations.


Anywayy, so Brendan had told me that he wasn't coming, because he couldn't get a ride. . I was upset because I really missed him. And then, in the middle of Aim Your Arrow's set, I turned around, just because, and he was jumping up and down waving. I was like, 'OH MY GOD, HOLD ON, THERE'S SOMEONE I NEED TO GO PASSIONATELY HOLD ONTO," and I totally lost my spot in the first row to go grab him. I hugged him for like the rest of Aim Your Arrows's set, and I pretty much held his hand throughout New Year's Day's set, and i was just so fucking happy to see him, I thought I was going to explode into pieces.

The experiences of my night::
> Brendan elbowed my forehead at least four times.
> Dahvie Vanity caressed my face and sang looking straight into my eyes, and then he spit in my mouth. Which sounds gross but for some reason wasn't.
> I got glitter dumped all over my body
> Jayy Von Monroe put his junk right in Brendan's face, and he wrapped in arm around my shoulders to steady himself while singing into the crowd
> Dahvie Vanity grabbed my throat and choked me during 'Death To Your Heart"
> I caught a glowstick from one of the supporting bands on tour, Life On A Pogostick. [they're awesome, go check them out]]
> I got a picture with DestroyX <3
> I safety-pinned an annoying girl's Hello Kitty backpack to her hoodie.
> The girl next to me stuck her gum in the annoying girl's hair
> My dad told Zoog he had a nice skirt. Not, you know, kilt. But skirt.
> Julia thought Zoog was a hobo.
Pictures::

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, Brendan and I being dorks::

Book Review 2:: Bruiser, by Neal Shusterman.

So, here is our next book::

Bruiser, by Neal Shusterman. Some of his newer-ish work. I expected it to be great.

      It was not great. Good, yes. Well-written, definitely. Great, no. It's about a boy named Brewster. His nickname is 'Bruiser". . OHH, THEY KINDA RHYME A LITTLE, DON'T THEYY, THAT'S SO CLEVER. Anywayy, so Brewster bruises badly. [alliteration !!!]] At least, that's what he tells people who see his skin so badly mottled with purple and red. The thing is, that Brewster takes away the pain and problems of the people that he cares about. This is why Brew always lurks in the shadows and mopes around. Because he doesn't want to make friends. He doesn't want to have to care for anyone, because then he'll be hurt by them--literally. Like, if you get a bruise, it'll transfer to Brew. If you get a cold, it'll transfer to Brew. If you're upset or angry or sad, it'll transfer to Brew.
      The basic plot is a good one, and I thought I would totally know how it ended. . but I didn't.  I
It's a good book, if you like swimming, anger issues, and supernatural abilities to take away things that hurt the people you care about.

Book Review 1:: Pink, by Lili Wilkinson

So, because of my reading habits, I decided to make my first official online book review. Ta-daa.

Here is the current book in question:

Pink, by Lili Wilkinson.

      The basic summary of this as that there is a lesbian goth girl who feels like she's messed up and wants to be, and I quote, "normal". She thinks she will achieve this normality by dressing like the 'popular" kids and wearing pink and such. She also is "confused" because she loves her girlfriend Chloe, but she also likes a boy named Ethan. Part of the story centers around the fact that she 'can't figure out whether she likes boys of girls".
      Uhmmmmmmm  . . . bisexual much ? Seriously. But they don't even mention the word 'bisexual", as if liking both boys AND girls isn't even an option. IT'S LESBIAN OR STRAIGHT !. .. like, what the hell.
      Ava, the main character with all of the problems, gets herself into a lot of messes. I guess the main moral of the story is that if you beg for forgiveness from the people you've hurt, you can always be reunited with that person and everything will be hunky-dory again. This pisses me off for obvious reasons that are SO obvious that I don't even feel like mentioning them. I mean, come on. . not everyone is going to forgive you, and not everything is going to be fine. Maybe in a fiction novel it will be, but not in real life. If you're going to have a book based off of real life, you might as well make it realistic.
      It's an ohkay book, if you like lesbians, musicals, and people who sadly attempt to fit in.

Post 27:: My Emo Phase Doth Seem To Flee.

So I am sure that you all know way more than you ever wanted to about my personal life.
Let's just say that I talked to Aidan, his parents forced him to type the email and basically told him what to sayy, he was depressed the entire time we were apart, and he loves and misses me.
So we started talking again.
As friends.
That didn't work out at all. .
. . so now we are dating again.
And I get to see him on Wednesdayy, we are going out for noodles.
I'm so excited.
And I bet you're all glad that that drama is out of the wayy, and you don't have to put up with my emo-ness anymore.

Anywayy,  I know it has been a while since I have posted anything. I was basically swamped and out of commission for all of September, but hopefully I will be able to catch up on posting a bit, here.
I'm still not sure whyy I have a blog.
Only two people read it.
That's actually not true.
A bunch of people, like 9 or 10 at LEAST, have come up to me at some social function and referenced something on my blog, or asked when I would update again.
People READ my blog, theyy just don't follow it or comment on it or anything. But they do read it.
Kinda weirds me out, you know ?

Wellp; anyhow. Halloween is coming !!! Are you excited ?? I sure am :D It's been my favorite holidayy for forever. .  .when I was little, it was because of the candy. When I was in between little and a kidd, it was because my sister and i would always dump our candy piles on the living room floor and trade stuff, and it was a bonding thing. That was before we stopped talking.  When I was a kidd, it was because of the dressing up. And now it's because CANDY ! and because TRICK-OR-TREATING WITH MY FRIENDS ! and because DRESSING UP ! and because CHEAP DECORATIONS FOR MY ROOM ! and such. At the moment I am admiring my new fingerless black gloves with a white skeleton hand screen-printed on them.
And I got a job, I work at Spirit Halloween. It's a lot of work, more than I expected, but. . . it gets me money and it's not too hard.

Lately, I have been on a reading crunch for some reason. Here is what I have read, thoroughly from cover to cover, and voluntarily answered study questions about, in the past three dayys::

 Yup. Sir Gawain and the Green Knight is a personal favorite of mine. I'm in the whole Anglo-Saxon phase at the moment. . . except, Beowulf, what the hell is Beowulf, I hate that whole concept and the epic poem itself, and everything.

So, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, is fabulous, of course. The translation that I got was by Simon Armitage, as you can see. . . it's my favorite translation.

Duckling Ugly by Neal Shusterman was also pretty fantastic. I love Neal Shusterman's newer work[Unwind, Everlost, etc.]], but not so much his older. I wasn't honestly expecting it to be that good, but I was pleasantly surprised. I thought the ending was predictable, but I really wouldn't have had it end a different wayy, and I don't know how to rephrase that without being a spoiler, so I won't.

Notes From The Blender by Trish Cook and Brendan Halpin was another book that I wasn't expecting to be all that good. The boy in it loves death metal, and turns vegan because of a boy named Olaf. It's not the type of book that I would be like, 'HERE, READ THIS NOW", but. . .it was pretty good. Funny. I snickered aloud quite a bit.

Gemini Bites, by Patrick Ryan. Ahh. . this. .  kinda sucked alot. Not recommending it to anyone. The ending was stupid. The plot could have been better, twistier. . the basic concept was ohkayy. But near the end, I was just like, 'what is this shit", and I had to force myself to finish it.

08-11-2010

It was all that I wanted
The only words you could say
But you took me for granted,
you didn't take me away.
      Every Night/Holding myself/I just wanted/one little thing/to hear you say/"You're so. . . "
I tried for you, so hard
Pretended that I cared
Every word glass and each look scarred
i don't want to be running scared
Anymore
Take me. . . .out of here
      Every Night/Holding myself/I just wanted/one tiny thing/to hear you say/"You're so. . . "
                            Press your lips to my wrist
                            Kisses sharp as razor's bliss
                            Your love is hurting me
                            Do you even care ?
Words will never hurt me unless left unsaid. Every Night/Holding myself/I only wanted/one thing. To hear you say
                   "You're so f*cking special to me."

Post 26:: Green Day, NaNoWriMo.

I thought I would start this off with some Christmas for you::

And here's how Green Day pranked AFI::

Now, anyone who knows me, knows that these are my two completely favorite bands in the world. When theyy toured together, I was more excited then you will ever be in your entire life. Guaranteed.
And I want to see American Idiot on Broadwayy, but the website for tickets is all like, we're too cool to have your tickets until September 30th, and we won't even tell you what price theyy are.
. . .  Jerks.

Also, I'm doing NaNoWriMo again this year !! My novel is called 'The Thing About Angels", here's my NaNoWriMo page:: http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/672840
If you're doing NaNoWriMo, that'd be awesome add me as a writing buddy. [=
This was my novel last year::

"Synopsis: The End Of Your Rainbow

This summer vacation, Charlotte finally goes off to find the end of the rainbow and follow her dreams. But her imagination could be the death of her. . .

Excerpt: The End Of Your Rainbow

""I’m sitting on a tree branch, and I'm realizing that i don’t even know what kind of tree this is. It isn’t a maple, or an oak, or an elm, or any of those types of trees. The shape of the leaf looks like a six pointe star, and the bark isn’t rough at all. It’s smooth, like a birch’s bark, only it’s not all peely and weird. Plus the bark is light blue... the leaves are green, though. It’s like a throwback to the Real World, textures of everything here are weird, and they’re all the wrong color, and then finally something is normal and it seems weird to me. Maybe I am losing touch with the Real World..."""

Sadly, I never did finish that novel. I got up to 20,000-something words, and then I got too busy and I didn't have time, and when I did have time, I blew it off to talk to Aidan. . . I'm a fool, I know. But here's a link to what I have written thus far: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Nyvr4cXxmMsdZpSE0loA2B6tXGc6fgGY1sP2V8zMJ78/edit?hl=en_US
I don't know if I'm ever going to finish it. A lot of people have told me that they love it and that they want me to finish it, but. . I don't know.

My second-cousin VictorianAndroid made a wonderful point in her comment on my last post-- what if my face got paralyzed because of me piercing it ?. . . So I took it out, and I'll get it professionally pierced some other time. . . like in a few months, when I'm 18 and can get it anyway. :3
[also, I took it out because it hurt. .  .not just because of the face-paralyzing thing. O.o]]

One more thing before I go::Godly Song Of The Angels <---beautiful string arrangement of a beautiful song.

Post 25:: It's Like A Vlog Only Not Really.

So, first of all, TABLING WAS AWESOME. The bands all sucked. . Bring Me The Horizon, Parkway Drive, Iron Eye, and two other bands playyed, and theyy all sounded the same. Bring Me The Horizon was  s l i g h t l y  better than the other bands. . .
My favorite part of the concert was when the lead singer of Parkway Drive screamed, 'Where the f*ck is my circle pit ?!! WHERE THE F*CK IS MY GODDAMN CIRCLE PIT ?!!!!!" and then everyone formed a circle pit.
There was this one guy who was somewhere in his 30's that kept hitting on me. . and he was like, 'I'm just standing here because Iron Eye sucks and you're sexy" and I was like, 'yeahh, theyy do suck. . " And later he told me I was hot. And I went, 'I know," and he laughed and said, 'you get that a lot ?" and I honestly replied that yes, I did. And he nodded and said, 'well at least you don't try to downplay it." And then there was this guy who was about 19 or 20 and he kept passing by me to go outside and smoke between the sets, and every time he passed me, he would sayy hi, or wave, or give me spirit fingers. And the last time he passed me, he said, 'you're still cute as hell," and kept walking so I didn't have time to respond. After that, we were done with our tabling, so I bought a 'MEAT SUCKS" shirt and I got my dad, who had driven me, and we left.
This is my dad in the car::

This is me after tabling. The lighting makes me look hideous::

I bet you're all like, 'whyy would anyone hit on her ?!!" right now. But trust me .. it's the lighting. O.o


Anddd this is me in my new, amazing shirt. And gingerbreadman pajama pants. Wut.::

I KNOW IT'S SIDEWAYYS, I'M SORRY ALRIGHT ? I can't fix it. .. because Blogspot's photo editing thingy doesn't have a rotate button, and I'm too lazy to go around fixing things like pictures that are sideways.

Just rotate your head, alright ?

So that's pretty much all that's going on. . . OHH, and I pierced my own eyebrow. With a safety pin. Because I'm badass-slash-stupid.::

It looks kinda weird in that photo. . there's not really a strange lump there. Anywayy, my parents don't know I did it because lucky for me my hair covers it up. Completely. So yay. I hope it doesn't get infected or something. I can see that happening now. .  .The safety pin didn't get completely steralized, and the one little germ that was left on it decided to go and infect the piercing, soon the infection spreads to my eye and I go blind and my eyelashes start falling out, then my eye rots and slides out of the socket in a weird state of mushiness. . . . 

Anywayy. I'm going to my best friend Julia's house now. So I will talk to you later. . . I LOVE YOU ALL [unless I don't]]

If I could, I'd change it all, But I can do nothing on my own, We'll have to go through this alone.

She waited for months and she waited for years
She kept trying to  dispel the ever-growing fears
That maybe they were right, maybe they didn't belong
But she didn't want to believe it so she told herself they were wrong.

He wanted so badly to tell her the truth
He thought she deserved just that much.
But the skies rained down like poisonous touch
And she melted away from his grasp.

Eleven months later
And heaven is waiting
He wants to hate her
Emotions are trading
Emotions are invading
She wants him still
But he's too far to come back.

The icy nights framed by car headlights
Predictability lost it's top factor
Found my thoughts locked behind the back door
Wouldn't let them come in, and left them there.
Their jeering and their told-you-so's
Are just oh-so-much to handle
Opened my eyes and pretended not to see what was there
Your glassy face and your plastic stare
Tried so hard to fake it
Make you think you were worth it.
Took off your mask
And then you weren't worth shit.

Every single night she's waiting for his call
He's out with his friends and she's sick of it all
One message is all that she wants from him
She wishes that for once she could win
Their thoughts are like a one-sided game play
While she hits the ball, he runs away
They used to mean something
But now it's all nothing
Maybe they should end it. . . ?
Or should they befriend it ?
The awkwardness persists for the rest of the year.

"If I left you for her, would you still be here ?"

She said, "I'll always stay for you
I'd even run away with you
Please tell me if there's something I
Could do for you."

He told her "can you just leave my space ?
Get out of my life and away from my face
There's something you can do for me
And it's a small task for us both. .  ."

She took a knife and a note
And drowned on the West Coast

So confused for far too long. I could not let you go. What I thought was love classified as obsession. Look, I'm letting you go, just as you asked. And there you are, falling so fast. We both knew it would happen, but tender touches and tasteless poses kept us hanging on. You keep falling, spiraling, down. Stay beautiful. Stay beautiful. Eyes close and lips caress and fingers touch and you stay beautiful while you. . burn.

Post 24:: Bring Me The Horizon.

No, seriously. BRING IT TO ME.

So i really don't like that band. . I am not one to listen to talentless screaming.
but OMG I GOT THE THINGY.
I'M QUALIFIED
TO WORK THE PETA2 TABLE AT THE CONCERT ON THURSDAYY

MY GOD

I'M SO EXCITED

I THINK I JUST POOPED LIKE 800 RAINBOW KITTENS

GODDAMN !

Post 23:: VEGAN AND VEGETARIAN AND ANIMAL-RIGHTS ACTIVIST AND DAMN PROUD.

I'm a vegan for a whole crapload of reasons, and I have been vegetarian for a few years. At this point, if I ate meat, i would get really sick and throw up. I know this because, while I was in Portugal this Summer, I accidentally ate a piece of ham without realizing it. I started feeling really sick within three minutes of eating it, and I went to my hotel room and just laid down. Twenty minutes later I threw up, and then someone came over and told me that someone had accidentally dropped ham on my plate while i was getting something to drink. They'd tried getting it all off, but apparently had missed a piece.
Ohh, yeahh. APPARENTLY.
I don't know whyy theyy didn't just tell me that they'd dropped it in the first place. . But i digress.

I decided that I wanted to work the peta2 table at the Bring Me The Horizon show on the 15th, which is Thrusdayy. I am not much for talentless screaming, so I don't mind completely skipping the show to tell people about animal rights. I would totally love to work a peta2 table, as well, because it'll be the first time doing anything REAL and, you know, ORGANIZED, for peta2. So tomorrow between 9.00 and 17.00, I have to call someone from peta2 named Christina, and talk to her about stuff, because she 'would love to chat with me in more detail". D:

I HAVE PHONE-PHOBIA. Like, when I know people are going to be asking me questions on the phone, I always try to have the answers ready. . .and. . and. . . AHHHHHH.

But I will just tryy to calm myself down and be myself. I'm not one for telling people what they want to hear, I go with what I think and know and feel. So I hope I'm good enough to help run the table. . because that would be awesome.

FINGERS CROSSED, GUYS <3 !!!!




ALSO. If you are looking for vegan makeup at superbeautiful prices, check out Medusa's Makeup andE.L.F.
THEY'RE BOTH AMAZING . . and cheap.

Post 22:: Who's Next ?

ALAINA BEATON, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ?

What happened to you. . ?!!::

I miss Porcelain and the Tramps. Porcelain Black, I'm like. . what the hell is this ? Alaina Beaton used to be so amazing. . she was my HERO. I lovelovelovedddd her. Not only do we share first names, but we're both from Detroit, and she used to be total SceneQueen. . honestly, Jeffree Star<Alaina Beaton. Listen to the girl::

. . . Yeahh. I know, right ?

Anyhow. Todayy is Labor Day ! So a lot of places were having sales. . .I didn't want to wait in line at any of the thrift stores though, because the lines were SO LONG. They were winding around the whole store. No joke. So I was like, 'ehhh, f**k this", and I scooted out to the mall. I bought some hair extensions, and new spiral gages. . . HappyHappy. I saw an awesome backpack that I wanted. . but I didn't have enough money. ]'= . . SADFACE.

Post 21:: I'm Dreaming Of A Dayy Far Away With No One To Sayy "I Love You And Wish You Were Here"

So, last January, I wrote a song on the piano for Aidan. . and I posted the video of me playing it [on the piano]] on Facebook so that he could hear it. And in the months since January, I had completely forgotten about it. And then todayy, someone 'liked" the video, and I'm listening to it right now. Even though I mess up a good eight or nine times, I'm still sitting here crying.
I would post the video for you guys to listen to it, but. . it really sucks, and I would rather not. . . . But I was thinking about Aidan the whole time. I didn't even really "write" the song. I literally sat down at the piano, closed my eyes, thought of him, and then started playing, and that's what happened. So I gave it lyrics and then I was done with it.

Anywayy, I swear I'm done. I'm done talking about him, and I'm done with him in general. I have a boyfriend, who is so nice to me and he's so sensitive and wonderful, and he listens to the most of the same music as I do, and he would never dream of dissing any of my music; not AFI, not anything. . and he's so nice and gentle and sweet.

. . . so whyy am I not happy. .

Post 20:: Baby Hamsterrr

Cutest thing EVER

Post 19:: --Where Were You Last Night ?

This song is amazing. I'm serious. It's stuck in my head like none other, and I can't for the life of me get it out of my head.  I love it with a passion. I love the whole band, actually.

I call and I call just to make things right,
Have I lost the fight ?
Where were you last night ?
I beg and I cry
I keep asking why,
Where were you last night ?


Amaranth is another of my favorite songs by them, as well as Over The Hills And Far Away. . . I sang that one for a talent show once. . . I sounded pretty good. Not as good as Tarja, OBVIOUSLY. I was like. . . a tiny fraction of her awesomeness.
No one can sing that song half as good as Tarja.
/eyes Annette//
. . ..  
/cough//
I'm not one of those people that's like, YAY TARJA ANNETTE SUCKS, I love Amaranth and Annette sings that song.. . . I love all of Nightwish's albums. Once is equally good as Dark Passion Play. I just like Tarja singing the songs that Tarja sings, and Annette singing the songs that Annette sings. That's all.


Enough about Nightwish. . . I still don't know what's going on with my life. 
Other than, FERRETS !!!!!!! You guys need to go to peta2.com, and click on the link to the Ferrets. If that's too much work for you, here's a short video that explains what's going on:: 

I honestly cried when I saw the ferret in the beginning of the video. CRIED. Not, you know, polite little delicate hiccups, but BIG, HEAVING SOBS. I was literally bawling by the end of the video. That one baby ferret in the beginning, who's struggling to move, and it's squeaking so piteously. . .that's horrible. What the hell is going on, guys ? Why is that ohkayy ? 
Not only do American accept the fact that millions of babies are being murdered, and actually fight to keep it legal, but they also abuse animals and say that it's completely fine. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MINDS ?!!!!!!! That's not ohkayy. Do you hear me ? THAT IS NOT OHKAYY. America is so fucked up.. .  .It makes me sick. 


Another really good song, with Simone Simmons pictures ! 8D

Post 18:: Home Again, Home Again, F*ck With My Heart.

So I get home and this guy asks me out and then I sayy yes just because I miss Aidan so much and I thought maybe I just missed being in someone's arms, but that was not it at all. . I just miss being in Aidan's arms. Because I f*cking love him. And then some other stuff happend and I dumped the first guy and I started dating a different guy and now this person that I've sort of liked for awhile tells me that theyy like me. . . Gah !
I am not ready for this.
/NeedsADistractionFromLife//
Also, while i was gone, all my friends decided that it was time to become cross-dressers. .. .And I am quite alright with this.

It is 1.15, and I need to sleep, I think. My head and my heart are so messed up right now. I don't even know what's happening. I just know that I'm still in love with Aidan, and tryying to get over him. The person that just recently informed me of their likeage of me knows everything. . because I tell them so much, about my life. SO. MUCH. And they're willing to help me through everything and get over Aidan. So. . I'm panicking, because the guy I'm currently with is one of my best friends, and he's sensitive and I don't want to hurt his feelings at all, but. . I would rather be with this other person. . because . . because.

Gah.

LIFE, y u so complicated ?

Beautiful Song Here

Post 17:: Last Night In Madrid !!

on August 18th I kind of lost it for the whole dayy, like it sucked. In case you didn't know, that was supposed to be Aidan and I's one-year anniversary. But uhm. Yeahh. That didn't happen. So. Sadness.

SOME SHIT HAS BEEN GOING DOWN, but basically this country is GREAT. Tomorrow I'm leaving to go back in time [6 hours]] and I'll be home. I'm pretty sad about it, actually. Spain is pretty amazing, minus the menu and the stress that we're getting from the adults on the trip. WYD was all i thought it would be and more. Fiestas every night, and sleepovers between hotel rooms and geckos running around the streets. It's lovely here, honestly. And theyy don't card you for alcohol. ;D

I miss a few of my friends. . .  O.o Just a few. .
and my closet
and my bed
and my bagful of facewashes that i forgot to pack.
But that's it. I could stayy here with Marilyn, Megan, Paulina, Frenchie and Misko forever. I LOVE IT HERE. The shops, and the sangria, and the fact that everything is so warm and wonderful here. . . Ahhh. I don't know what to think about the fact that I don't miss my parents, though. Because I really don't miss them. I just want to get a job and settle down here. I've picked up alot of Spanish words here. I think I could learn the language fairly easily.

Also, I got my ears pierced. On my left ear i got the middle cartilage pierced, on my right ear i got the upper cartilage pierced. For 11 Euro each, which is roughly 17 Dollars.

AND, theyy have 2 Euro Sangria at this one place in downtown Madrid at the Sol de Plaza, and it is THE BEST SANGRIA I have ever had. Honestly. It's more like a juicebox than anything else.

By the wayy, if you haven't heard the song 'Across The Endless Sea" by Fairyland, go listen to it.

The other night, my sister's boyfriend came into our room [which has been designated the 'party room"]], and brought the American flag that he had been carrying all dayy. Megan, one of my roomates, went, 'whyy did you bring the flag ?" and he goes, 'I thought we were having a party." Marilyn's like, 'what ? So whyy did you bring the flag ? What are we supposed to do with it ?" And Matt's all like, 'uhmm. . i don't know, wave it around and stuff ?" So now, we have the flag at every party we have.

I need to go PARTY, so i'll talk to you guys later.
Buh-byee.

Post 16:: Leavin' Fer SHPAIN.

Matthew, my sister's boyfriend, told me that he would play Magic The Gathering with me on the plane. YAYAYAYA. I'm so happy about that. Like really. NO ONE EVER wants to learn how to playy Magic. Makes me so sad. . . D:

anywho. I'm leaving tomorrow morning !! Leaving my parents and my pet fish and my bed and my rug and my door and my flowers and Oscar. Oscar is my pet Venus Fly Trap. He's cute <3

GAH, I'm so stoked and totally freaked at the same time.

I miss Aidan. . Dammit. I hate my life. . . . . owhrof;aj od;jv;ojc ..

BUT THE THING IS,
Magic on the plane,
and going to Spain
and going to France, and Portugal as well.

8D

I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, AND WHEN I DO, I WILL BE AN EXPERIENCED TRAVELER.

heh heh heh.

Post 15:: Raina Synethsia's Breakdown.

So I have been not ohkayy.
Aidan left me. . . and was so cold and cruel about it.
How can you spend one whole year loving someone who never felt anything for you ?
Like, how did I even manage it ?
I don't know. . but I guess I did it . . .
Aidan said we're too young to know what love is.
Also, a bunch of other stuff. . .and that I shouldn't try to contact him anymore.
"If we're meant to be, our paths will cross again," he said.
Is he mentally impaired ?
That's not happening . . . . paths don't just, cross. Someone has to make them cross.
I am going to go and sulk now.
Maybe with some coffee, and then i will take my pills.
Meds or Madness.

Post 14:: How Things Are

SO, some shiiiiiii--. . stuff, has been going on lately, which is whyy I have been absent from Blogger.
I guess i don't really blog that much anywayy, but. .
Gah.
So here's the deal::
I dyed my hair purple, with blue and pink streaks. This is my current profile picture on facebook. Can't really tell what my hair looks like, but. . . rainbow powers, mann. =D

Also, this is a picture of me and my pet snake, named Fish. She just got bred with another snake, and she laid three eggs. . sadly, theyy didn't make it. But she's adorable, and she's my baby <3 

And i added a picture of her twined around my wrist. Because I can. 

She is seriously one of the best things in my life right now. .

So you know how I'm going to Spain ? Well, I'm used to thinking that it's really far off, like in months. . . BUT NO, I'M LEAVING IN TWO WEEKS. And then it's three weeks in foreign countries without either of my parents. 

OMG.

I'm kinda freaking out hugely about this. 

I mean, it's going to be an amazing experience. .. but it could go horribly wrong and be really awful, as well. It's not like some arranged trip or something that's super-organized. It's World Youth Day, for God's sake. I COULD DIE. LIKE, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT ?

DIE.

Of . . so many things. And . .  and. . . I don't even know what to get anyone from anywhere !! I'm going to Lourdes, France; Fatima, Portugal; Santa De Compostla, and Madrid, Spain. And NO ONE . KNOWS. WHAT THEYY WANT. Like, not even any hints, nothing. . . .Ughh.

People are so dumb. 

Also, I have been addicted to this game. I am in place 201 as of todayy. Which sounds pretty bad, but when you see how many people have played it, and therefore how many scores there are, it's actually really good. So I'm happy with myself and my waste of time. It's a flash game on [adultswim], so yeahh, go playy it, it's free and you don't have to download anything, or anything.

SO there's this girl. . . and she drives me crazy. . .and I don't even know whyy. . I'm just so jealous of her, and I don't have any reason to be jealous of her, I just am. 

And I love this girl, like she is one of my closest friends, because we all know I don't open up to many people. . . but sometime I just feel like stabbing her with a fork. 

But i wouldn't stab her with a fork. . cuz I like her.

She's cool. . 

And I like her.

Muhr muhr muhr, what else has been going on in my boring life.

Not really much. Just teenage drama as usual. 

I watched the video for Within Temptaion's song "Ice Queen" and almost cried at the cheesiness of it. What happened to videos like Angels, and Faster ? Like really, this sucked.. . 

There's something in my house that I am highly allergic to, and i keep breaking out in hives, like all over my arms and legs and no one knows what it is that I'm allergic to and it's ICKY.

Post 13:: Slurpee Straws.

This post actually has nothing to do with Slurpee straws, but I couldn't think of a title for this post, and there's a straw wrapper from a Slurpee tied around my wrist like a bracelet, so. .
That's what happened there.
Todayy has been simply craptastic. . and there is so much that I want to complain about,
But really. .who's listening ?

/raises hand// I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW PICK ME

/points// Alright, weird girl with the brown and red and purple hair.

/beams proudly// NO ONE ?

Right. . no one. No one's listening. I could scream so loud and no one would listen. I can drop all the hints that I want, but no one is going to listen, and if I complain, I am just whining.

I mean. . I don't like complaining about things 24/7, but it would be nice to talk to someone who isn't part of what I'm complaining about. I miss Jessy, my Pickle. My best friend since 2006. . . . I miss her so much. She's all busy with school. .. .

And i miss Robert, who was my gay penguin lover. . except he was neither gay nor my lover, and he actually hated penguins. I don't even know where I would contact him anymore. .

I miss Annadee. . I'm friends with her on facebook, but she's changed so much it's scary, and now she's engaged. . what is this ? I can't even hold a conversation with her, and we used to talk for hours and hours on end, about the most random shit. Nail polish, whatever. Last time I talked to her, she was seventeen. Now she's twenty-two. And I don't even know. .what do twenty-two year olds talk about, anywayy ??

I miss Kay and Lory, and Karem, and. .everyone. All of them. Every one of my internet friends. Even Jeremy Fisher..  that total creep. .yeahh, i miss him too. ( XD )

Remember when Buzznet was cool. . .??

And when it didn't look like a glorified Tumblr/Twitter ?

/sighhh//
. .
. . . . Life sucks, people change, then you die.

Post 12:: Swap My Ten Month Spit, Baby.

WARNING:: The following blog post contains mature adult content. . . Or not. But really. Prepare for mushyness. I am feeling incredibly In-Love with my boyfriend right now. And i also thought that todayy would be a good time to analyze kissing. So. Beware. . You've Been Warned.

Alright alright alright.

So I'm just sitting here, thinking about absolutely nothing other than the fact that my second-cousin is giving her dad Star Wars pancake shapers for Father's Day, when it hits me--Todayy, is Aidan's graduation party.
Going on. Right now. And me ? When am I doing, while my boyfriend is celebrating the fact that he has graduated highschool, with his friends and family. And not his girlfriend. Mann, this is fucked.

I'm sorry. I just get upset about this stuff.

Anywayy. . . so I was thinking. Kissing, is really, really, really weird.
Think about it:: if someone spit in a cup, would you just pick it up and drink it ?. . . .. If you sayy yes, you're a weirdo. But listenlistenlisten.So. . . kissing, is called 'swapping spit" for a reason. I don't know about you, but I tryy to AVOID getting spit on when i can help it. And in my mouth ? Ewh ewh ewh. But. . . kissing is different. Whyy is it different.
I can't wrap my head around kissing. I just really can't. How can it be so completely wonderful.  . when all it is, is your lips touching, your tongues touching, and . . . spit swapping ?
. . Meh.
Not that, I don't like spit swapping. With Aidan. . Aidan is the best at spit swapping, that i have ever swapped spit with. When I kiss Aidan, I can still taste him on my lips for the next few hours.
This one person I kissed, long ago, was really good at it, too. . he was rough and gentle in all the right places at all the right times, and his kisses were almost perfect. . but not as good as Aidan's.
Is it because I love Aidan that I think he's so much better than everyone else ? I'm not going to lie and say that my feelings aren't probably contributing to it. 'It" being the absolute amazingness of Aidan's lips.
Did you guys read that ?
I'll type it again.
The absolute amazingness of Aidan's lips.
Every kiss is perfect and strange and full of passion and love and longing. The short, sweet ones, have underlying tones of something more. The long, passionate ones have less of underlying tones--and more of a blatant sense of need. But they're all perfect. Each and every one. From the first time he pulled me onto his lap and kissed me, at the top of a concrete stairwell outside his highschool, to the last time we kissed, a week ago.
I'm not sayying this to gross you all out.
I swear I'm not.
Nor am I sayying this to be one of those girls who babbles about her boyfriend, and how wonderful he is, all of the time.
I am sayying this because yesterdayy, June Eighteenth, was Aidan and I's ten-month anniversary. Ten months. . . and four of those, we weren't allowed to see eachother for.
I'm sayying this because despite the shit  we've had to go through, Aidan and I are still together. We're still strong. We're more in love than you could ever hope to know.
I'm sayying this because the amount of love that I feel for Aidan Rickel is overwhelming and it frightens me and I need to try to sayy something, anything, about him, in a sad attempt to describe his perfection.

Ohh, I know he's not perfect.
God knows that Aidan has his faults, as does everyone else.
But for me ? Every one of his imperfections only adds to the perfection that I see in him. Aidan's soul, as I see it, is so beautiful, and good, and perfect.
I Love him so much.
And I know he doesn't read this blog. . . I think I told him about it once, but he probably forgot. So I can feel perfectly fine sayying this mushy stuff.
I don't know what's come over me. . honestly, I don't.
I'm never this sappy and pathetic. . I'm not. I swear to you, I am never like this.
. . .on the outside. I'll think it, but i never sayy it. My Journal is going to carry my secrets until its destruction, and the amount of mushy things I have said about Aidan in my Journal is overwhelming.
But out loud . . ?
Never.
So consider yourselves intrinsically lucky to be reading this.
Aidan Rickel, I fucking love you, and I miss you

Emilie Autumn Concert Photos [finally]]

 The Blessed Contessa, spitting tea on us.

 Emilie Autumn, no zoom used. 8D

 Captain Maggot. Is sexxy.

 More of Captain Maggot

 THE BLESSED CONTESSA. She swallowed fire. IT WAS AWESOME.

 Mhmm;

 Opheliac.

 This is Captain Maggot.

 This is Captain Maggot on stilts. 

 Emilie Autumn and Veronica Varlow kissing.

 Veronica's fandance.

 Veronicaaahhhhhh

 Captain Maggot's flaming hula hoop. =D

 yerp

 Emilie, during 4 o'Clock.

And, this is the pizza guy being confused, because someone in line ordered a pizza,

and he didn't know where to deliver it to.

Post 11:: The New Romeo & Juliet.

My best friends maintain that Aidan and I are like the new-age Romeo And Juliet.
Only cooler. ..
I accept this.
I wish things didn't have to be this wayy, but whatever, because I really can't do anything about it until next year when I turn 18 anyway. . .. RAUGHHHHH.
Anyhow.

I saw Aidan todayy !! For about, an hour. But it was wonderful, all the same. It wasn't long enough. . .It's never long enough.

EVERYYYTHING IS NEVERRRR ENOUGHHHH <---my burst of song.


Meh, anywayy, I am watching Saturdayy Night Live. Theyy playyed The Strokes on it. SO HAPPY !!!!

But listen, so Aidan and I were together todayy, yes, and since I promised you guys in my last blog that I would give you a picture, be happy with these::

and so there you go. Well, kidds. . That's pretty much all.
WAIT, no.
I found something funny.
My face literally looks almost EXACTLY LIKE THIS, whenever someone disses AFI::

MADE.
MY.
DAYY.

Post 10:: Julia is Julia is Julia is Iizjulia.

This is Julia:: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0nrdqRL40Y&feature=player_embedded#at=157
She is my best friend, and my cousin. And she always makes me hahahahappppyyy insideeeee =D

Kind of like this song::
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dq-efEfJvpw&feature=related

Anyhow, but no. Julia is like. . . always there.
LITERALLY, always there.
She ALWAYS answers her phone. . .unless she doesn't, and then I manage to get ahold of her somehow anywayy. And she does always make me smile, without fail. ALWAYS.
I was going through some tough shit recently, and then she's like,
      'well here's what you do:: First of all, you sit down with some cookie dough, and you get on youtube and watch videos about kittens, and--"
     "Kittens ? What ? Whyy ?" I asked.
      "CUZ THEY'RE ALL HAPPY AND LIKE, YAY," she said. I feel like that was a perfectly reasonable response, too. Especially after I found this on Tumblr::

<--click on it to see the video.

So anywayy. . Uhrm. I pretty much don't have anything to sayy todayy, other than that i am feeling supersignificantly better than yesterdayy.
I promised you I'd post my Emilie Autumn pictures, didn't I. . /facepalm// I'll get them up as soon as I . . . /cough// remember. =D

Angles of the Angels.

      Sleepless nights and lips locked tight and holding hands in October air, together forever perfection whatever yearning for change and no one's changing but your heart's still beating faster and I'm here calling for you waiting for you wondering where are you and we're united and it's the irreverent lust for an angel and I'm screaming with need for your perfection, your protection as beneath me you're getting so much

      Harder harder you have to try harder or we can't make this work and it has to work it has to you don't understand this darkness that's closing in and choking me in its panicked rage. Bruised and worn and victorious and losing it are all the very same but it's not yet termination so maybe we can pull this through with one of your card tricks, sleight of hand or slip of mind ? I'm breathing in your scent while i'm sleeping and we wish that we could

      F*ck this daydream now tell me a story, the one with all the explosions and hate and the two lovers who stood by each other through it all and for everything although she failed her world because

He was her world.

Post 9:: Just Like A Dream. . Just Like Heaven

I've been having a lot of problems lately.
The ones that are the hardest are the ones that I am having with my relationship.
This isn't a drama blog, so I'm not going into details.
But I've been a complete wreck.
I broke up with my boyfriend, but every time I go to facebook to change my relationship status, I click the 'single" button, and then it says, 'Your Relationship With Aidan Rickel Will Be Canceled Upon Saving".
And I can't do it.
I can't bring myself to click it.
I don't want to lose him.
But it's so awful and I don't know if i can take it.
I don't know what to do. .
I am so in love with him.
But I don't know. . what to do. . .at all. .
I'm so upset.

But I will try to push it aside and blog about something else. If possible.

Uhhm. . . Tumblr ? I have a Tumblr. username is Rainarainbow. Go, follow me and reblog my stuff, and such.

Ahh, I can't do this. I keep thinking about Aidan and I can't stand it.
I'm an idiot.

Spinning on that dizzy edge, I kissed her face and kissed her head, and dreamed of all the different wayys I had to make her glow.  Why are you so far away ? She said, Why won't you ever know, that I'm in love with you. That I'm in love with you. You--soft and only. You--lost and lonely. You--Strange as angels. Dancing in the deepest oceans, twisting in the water, You're Just Like A Dream.. .  You--soft and only. You--lost and lonely. You--Just Like Heaven.

Post 8:: Mice Jokes.

Recently, I've found myself in the throes of a new obsession. It isn't a band, or a cartoon character. It's Mice Jokes.
Yehpp. I'm obsessed with telling jokes about mice.
Don't ask how I got into this, please.
But here's some of my favorites::

Q:: What's the hardest part of milking a mouse ?
A:: Getting it to fit over a bucket 


Hickory hickory dock.
The mouse ran up the clock
The clock struck one
But the rest got away with minor injuries 


Q::How do you save a drowning mouse ?
A:: Use mouse to mouse resuscitation


And here are some that are just plain awful::


Q::What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside?
A:: A mouse sandwich


Q:: What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them ?
A:: Mice Krispies.


So you see what my life is like right now. Mice Jokes and Awful Mice Jokes.




On another note, I turn Seventeen on Mondayy, the Sixth, and I had a cousins-only birthdayy party yesterdayy. Which was awesome, because I love my cousins so much. 
We all wore party hats, too. 
And shit went down, somewhere in the middle of the party, and all my cousins were there to back me up. I love them all.


JULIA <3 ROBIN <3 GENNI <3 JILLIAN
for the win =D