I just don't look that excited in that title, do I.
It's like. I Am So Excited.
It would show more of my emotion, had I written,
I Am So Excited !!!!!!!!
. . . whateverr.
So listen !!!!!
I'm going to an Emilie Autumn concert tonight !!!! With my second-cousin Robin !!!!! And my friend Dan who i haven't seen in over a year !!! And. . my ex-girlfriend Caitlin ? O.o
BUT ANYWAYYZ. THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT.
THE POINT IS,
I am excited !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So very excited !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I AM SO FREAKING STOKED ABOUT THIS YOU HAVE NO IDEA
LIKE SERIOUSLY
WOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I went to see Emilie Autumn when she was touring The Asylum: The Key. . .And now she's touring The Asylum: The Door. . ..It's her last tour for the Opheliac album. . which was an amazing album, by the wayy, but yeahh.
OMJZ.
I GET TO SEE CAPTAIN MAGGOTS TONIGHT !!!!!!
I might love her even more than Emilie. ..
Wait, no. I don't.
But JEEBUS AM I EXCITED.
I'll post and tell you ALL ABOUT IT tomorrow :D
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Dancing Stars
lyrics and music by Vanilla Tears Exposition 600 copyright 2008
********************************
Cut through the pain and
Drown with me
Will we see our lives
End tonight?
I would wish upon a star
But they're all falling
From the sky
Cut across the speed of sound and
Prepare yourself to drown
I'm waiting for the glass to shatter
Watching you die
This is the time to fail
And i am not afraid to fall
This world so big
Makes me feel small
[Pierce me with your gaze]
I'll wait until we fade away
[Leaving you alone in a daze]
Don't tell me what i'm looking for in the skies;
Don't tell me, i don't want to hear your lies;
I'm the girl behind the stars in her eyes.
Cut through the sky and
Burn with me
Tonight we'll see our lives end
Sharp wishes and
Black fantasies
Never echoed in my sorrow.
Press your lips to the ice and then{too unoriginal?}
Begin to freeze and borrow
Waiting for the next big kill; Always filing the tip; Fall back and bite your lip;
Tonight as stars explode
********************************
Cut through the pain and
Drown with me
Will we see our lives
End tonight?
I would wish upon a star
But they're all falling
From the sky
Cut across the speed of sound and
Prepare yourself to drown
I'm waiting for the glass to shatter
Watching you die
This is the time to fail
And i am not afraid to fall
This world so big
Makes me feel small
[Pierce me with your gaze]
I'll wait until we fade away
[Leaving you alone in a daze]
Don't tell me what i'm looking for in the skies;
Don't tell me, i don't want to hear your lies;
I'm the girl behind the stars in her eyes.
Cut through the sky and
Burn with me
Tonight we'll see our lives end
Sharp wishes and
Black fantasies
Never echoed in my sorrow.
Press your lips to the ice and then{too unoriginal?}
Begin to freeze and borrow
Waiting for the next big kill; Always filing the tip; Fall back and bite your lip;
Tonight as stars explode
Discretion=Pens And Needles
NOTE::This was written for my old band. . it's a half-finished song chorus that we never performed.
When your world is spinning round
feels like it's all coming down
shut your mouth
and bite your lip
hold your words in
though it might make you sick
don't speak your mind
don't stand up for yourself
pretend you're just fine
but plan to give them hell
When your world is spinning round
feels like it's all coming down
shut your mouth
and bite your lip
hold your words in
though it might make you sick
don't speak your mind
don't stand up for yourself
pretend you're just fine
but plan to give them hell
ScreamStabDrip
NOTE:: i wrote this for my band. . .awhile ago. You can be sure it was awhile ago, since i was still in a band at that point. xD the drummer helped me write this song, and it was pretty good. . .we got in an argument over the title, but he won. I wanted it to be named something else.. . but i got out-voted. We playyed this song once, at a festival, and our bass player got a beer bottle thrown at her, our guitarist tripped and fell off the stage like a dumbass, and i thought that was so funny that i started laughing hysterically and couldn't sing.
In short,
WE SUCKED.
But you know, it was fine. . . because we had hella fun that night. And it was still a good song. xD
She cried and she fell
And she crawled towards me on her knees
She only wanted the world
Where had she fallen?
Why was it so hard
To get where she wanted?
Why did the chains always
pull back so tight?
And she cried and she fell
And she tripped over my heart
She'd left it on the ground
When had it broken?
She couldn't remember
What it was like Last December
She only knew she wanted
What she could not have.
And she cried and she fell
And she sank into the ground
Stitched herself with her needle-sharp words
And got back up again
Her attitude was nothing
She meant you no harm
But you got in her way
And she had to die.
And she cried and she fell
And she screamed herself hoarse
Tasting the blood made it better
Swallowing fire made it worse.
And any day you find her
She's standing up tall
A smirk on her face
All innocence and grace
You won't ever find her again
You'll be dead not long after
With your feet above our heads and hearts
Hanging from the rafters.
In short,
WE SUCKED.
But you know, it was fine. . . because we had hella fun that night. And it was still a good song. xD
She cried and she fell
And she crawled towards me on her knees
She only wanted the world
Where had she fallen?
Why was it so hard
To get where she wanted?
Why did the chains always
pull back so tight?
And she cried and she fell
And she tripped over my heart
She'd left it on the ground
When had it broken?
She couldn't remember
What it was like Last December
She only knew she wanted
What she could not have.
And she cried and she fell
And she sank into the ground
Stitched herself with her needle-sharp words
And got back up again
Her attitude was nothing
She meant you no harm
But you got in her way
And she had to die.
And she cried and she fell
And she screamed herself hoarse
Tasting the blood made it better
Swallowing fire made it worse.
And any day you find her
She's standing up tall
A smirk on her face
All innocence and grace
You won't ever find her again
You'll be dead not long after
With your feet above our heads and hearts
Hanging from the rafters.
Freezing-Point Depression
NOTE:: if you don't know what Freezing-Point Depression is, you've obviously never taken a Chemistry course, or if you did, you learned nothing from it. Freezing-Point Depression is the change that occurs in the temperature at which a liquid freezes, or a solid melts, when a solute is absolved in it. In this case, i was referring to a solid melting.
Because I've wanted to be with you for longer than i can remember and i've wanted to hold you for more than forever. I never wanted this, to be so close and not to touch you. If the leaves fell with our dreams, would you stay with me and still be here ?
In the silence of the rotten, the forgotten echo their calls
Tryying to be but i'm something I'm not
And I'm dreaming of finding a brand new home Where everything is Exactly as it Seems, but it's hard to breathe when worlds are torn at the seams.
What a curious world, where love lives under lust, hearts can break, and wills can bend. "Don't worry about it, it's just the latest trend", maybe i don't want to fit in. Maybe i just want to be. . . .yours--
-Hold me, help me make it through-
-I just want to wait til it's me and you-
-me and you-
-In this icebox I want to die, Me and you, Baby-
-Me And You-
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Post 4:: I Hate Having To Think Up Titles.
I've only ever thought up two good titles for my lyrics. . .
And I've never gotten a good blogpost title.
WAIT.
Lie.
I did, once.
It was something about Superman. .
Don't remember.
I'm only posting this blog because my mother is standing somewhere behind me hoping that I do something wrong LOL well I'm not going to so HAHH.
My mother is Of The Devil.. . .
Yesterdayy, my neighbor Mike and I had a conversation about whether the Devil was a man or a woman. I said the Devil was a hermaphrodite. He shook his head and looked at me like I was the stupidest person ever.
'No, the Devil is a woman. Everything we are now is womens' fault," he said.
I glared at him.
'Nu-uhh, how so ? If anything, it's man's fault. He's the one who screwed us by blaming his sins on the woman," I said.
'Woman's fault. ALL the woman's fault."
'NO, IT IS NOT !" I yelled.
'MAN WASN'T THE ONE WHO ATE THE GODDAMN APPLE !!!!" he yelled back.
'Yes he did !!!"
'Only because the woman handed it to him and told him to eat it !!"
'WELL HE DIDN'T HAVE TO EAT IT, DID HE ?!" I yelled.
'YES HE DID !" my neighbor practically roared.
'WHYY ?!" I asked.
He paused and thought for a minute, but didn't sayy anything.
That was it.
ARGUMENT OVER.
I win.
Right ?
. . . Wrong.
'Because, " Mike said, 'Eve was just standing there naked. Adam couldn't refuse."
'Why could Adam not refuse naked Eve ?" I asked, unimpressed by his answer.
I made this face:: -__-
My neighbor stared pointedly at my chest, and went,
'Because, BOOBS."
And he won.
He totally won that argument.
THAT MAKES ME SO MAD.
Anywayyz. Moving right along. This morning it was all cold and wet and rainy. . and I didn't know that. . .and I decided that todayy was the dayy to wear a skirt, because all of my pants were dirty. . and so I wore this skirt that I wore as part of a Dracula play I was in when I was thirteen, And it's so long it stops so that the hemline is barely touching the ground, and it's all flowy and stuff. . .and so I got my piano books
And I walked outside
And I walked to my lesson
In the rain
And I was dressed all in black and I probably looked like someone who just stepped out of the Eighteenth Century. . Who was in mourning. .
Or maybe I just looked like a Victorian Goth with horrible style. . . .
But I walked there and the skies were grey
And the rain was literally pouring down
And my hair came out of the bobby pins that I'd pinned it up with
And I was soaked completely in about five minutes
And I had a rainbow umbrella
And I was listening to Hello Fascination by Breathe Carolina
And just as it reached the orgasm of the song--you know, the part of the song where it gets all quiet, but you can hear the bass pumping up and you know something great is going to happen--
The wind blew a bunch of rain straight into my face
And it blew my hair back
And I breathed in
And my coat flew back in the wind
And I felt epic
And I closed my eyes
And then I realized I probably looked really demented. . .
So I put my head down and kept walking.
But it was a nice experience.
I changed my background.
Happy Dayy. :D
And I've never gotten a good blogpost title.
WAIT.
Lie.
I did, once.
It was something about Superman. .
Don't remember.
I'm only posting this blog because my mother is standing somewhere behind me hoping that I do something wrong LOL well I'm not going to so HAHH.
My mother is Of The Devil.. . .
Yesterdayy, my neighbor Mike and I had a conversation about whether the Devil was a man or a woman. I said the Devil was a hermaphrodite. He shook his head and looked at me like I was the stupidest person ever.
'No, the Devil is a woman. Everything we are now is womens' fault," he said.
I glared at him.
'Nu-uhh, how so ? If anything, it's man's fault. He's the one who screwed us by blaming his sins on the woman," I said.
'Woman's fault. ALL the woman's fault."
'NO, IT IS NOT !" I yelled.
'MAN WASN'T THE ONE WHO ATE THE GODDAMN APPLE !!!!" he yelled back.
'Yes he did !!!"
'Only because the woman handed it to him and told him to eat it !!"
'WELL HE DIDN'T HAVE TO EAT IT, DID HE ?!" I yelled.
'YES HE DID !" my neighbor practically roared.
'WHYY ?!" I asked.
He paused and thought for a minute, but didn't sayy anything.
That was it.
ARGUMENT OVER.
I win.
Right ?
. . . Wrong.
'Because, " Mike said, 'Eve was just standing there naked. Adam couldn't refuse."
'Why could Adam not refuse naked Eve ?" I asked, unimpressed by his answer.
I made this face:: -__-
My neighbor stared pointedly at my chest, and went,
'Because, BOOBS."
And he won.
He totally won that argument.
THAT MAKES ME SO MAD.
Anywayyz. Moving right along. This morning it was all cold and wet and rainy. . and I didn't know that. . .and I decided that todayy was the dayy to wear a skirt, because all of my pants were dirty. . and so I wore this skirt that I wore as part of a Dracula play I was in when I was thirteen, And it's so long it stops so that the hemline is barely touching the ground, and it's all flowy and stuff. . .and so I got my piano books
And I walked outside
And I walked to my lesson
In the rain
And I was dressed all in black and I probably looked like someone who just stepped out of the Eighteenth Century. . Who was in mourning. .
Or maybe I just looked like a Victorian Goth with horrible style. . . .
But I walked there and the skies were grey
And the rain was literally pouring down
And my hair came out of the bobby pins that I'd pinned it up with
And I was soaked completely in about five minutes
And I had a rainbow umbrella
And I was listening to Hello Fascination by Breathe Carolina
And just as it reached the orgasm of the song--you know, the part of the song where it gets all quiet, but you can hear the bass pumping up and you know something great is going to happen--
The wind blew a bunch of rain straight into my face
And it blew my hair back
And I breathed in
And my coat flew back in the wind
And I felt epic
And I closed my eyes
And then I realized I probably looked really demented. . .
So I put my head down and kept walking.
But it was a nice experience.
I changed my background.
Happy Dayy. :D
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Post 3:: Because I Forgot To Complain.
Ohh yeahh. AND I HATE MY BACKGROUND.
Ohkayy wait, no, lie. I don't HATE it. . It's pretty nice, actually.
I MADE IT MYSELF.
Can you tell ? xD
Yeahh alright but anywayyz; i'm not so happy with it. . .
. . So I am going to make myself a new one. .
. . That will be an AMAZAZAZING MACKGROUND.
Did i just type 'mackground" ?
LOL.
I mean, BACKGROUND.
Well gosh, that kind of just ruined the effect. . .
But ohkayy, so I will make myself a new. . ./cough// mackground, and it will be LOVELY.
Yes ?
Yes.
Ohkayy.
Stayy Awesome.
Ohkayy wait, no, lie. I don't HATE it. . It's pretty nice, actually.
I MADE IT MYSELF.
Can you tell ? xD
Yeahh alright but anywayyz; i'm not so happy with it. . .
. . So I am going to make myself a new one. .
. . That will be an AMAZAZAZING MACKGROUND.
Did i just type 'mackground" ?
LOL.
I mean, BACKGROUND.
Well gosh, that kind of just ruined the effect. . .
But ohkayy, so I will make myself a new. . ./cough// mackground, and it will be LOVELY.
Yes ?
Yes.
Ohkayy.
Stayy Awesome.
Post 2:: Because I Can.
Shooo. I figured, blog, right ?
So I should probably do some actual blogging, right ?
Or maybe not. . .
But I could.
And I'm going to
Right Now
HAHH.
So here is my first blogging experience on this blog.
I used to have a different blog, it was www.fantastymassacrebeakdown.blogspot.com .
But too many people read that, that I didn't want reading it. So I had to change all of the privacy settings and make it so that you can only read it if you sign in, and only if I invited you. So if you want to read it, then you can send me an email and I will let you. Because I really don't give a fuuu-udge anymore. . . I'm just too lazy to change the privacy settings.
Lazy.
Ah-huhh.
That's what's on my mind right now, actually.
I'm not stupid, I know I'm talented.
I can write novels very well, my spelling and grammar both are almost perfect.
I can draw pretty alright; I don't suck at it.
Some things I draw are very good.
Mostly I just doodle. . . but my doodling is good, too.
I can play the piano, and I hack computers if I so please, I work for a CPA so I know how to do all your accounting, which is something most adults have a hard time figuring out. Which is why they hire people like my boss, to do it for them.
I can type really fast. . . at least 150 wpm [words per minute]].
That's good.
I have a wonderful memory, I can memorize things very quickly.
I can sew little plushie stuffed animals. And they don't look ridiculous. They look cute. And they aren't all falling apart.
I can sew a lot of things. . .
I am actually pretty smart, I got good scores on my PSAT, and I think I will do well on my SAT.
I can make a lot of vegan foods, stuff that's hard to make that I never thought I'd be close to making. It took me awhile to acquire that skill, actually, because I dislike cooking and I'm actually really bad at it. But vegan stuff, I can make.
I can con almost anyone that I want. Not very respectable. But still something useful that I am good at. The only people I can't con is my boyfriend, my sister's boyfriend [who always sees through me]] and my two other best friends, Jessy and Kaythrunn.
I can do. . . so much.
And I am not doing anything.
I am on the computer, I am scribbling worthless notes in my journal, I am staring into dead space listening to music.
Why do I waste myself like that ?
IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY.
There's so much more I could do, so much more I could be, and I have no one here to tell me that I can do it. Everything is about what I do wrong.
Because I'm lazy
And I waste my time
And I can't argue because they're all so right
And it's so ridiculous
Why don't I do something with all of my talents ?
Why am I just sitting here, when I could be out doing something amazing, somewhere ?
I'm sitting here closing my eyes thinking about Life and where I am in it
And how ridiculous it is to be where I am
When I've done as much work as I have. . .
. . . Which is basically no work at all. . .
. . WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I could do so much And I'm Wasting My Time Doing Nothing
God, I need to get out of this house
Just to go somewhere. . . .anywhere. . . I can't even go to my neighbor's house anymore because my parents don't trust his parents, and the last time I went outside was. . well, this morning, to take out the trash. But before that, it was Thursday, to go to my class, that I didn't even want to go to all that much.
That's almost a week that I've been stuck in this house
Doing nothing
Wanting to see my boyfriend
Just to hold him, for seven minutes, anything at all
Wanting to run away
Wanting just to GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.
And now I am complaining to people that I don't even know, because no one reads this blog, because I haven't told anyone about it. Maybe I should tell someone about it.
Or maybe not. .
Would they read it ?
Probably not.
A few people read my old blog, but not really. . . well, a lot more people read it than I thought, but only a few people would comment on it. But that was ohkayy. I didn't really pay much attention to their comments anyway. Just because, I didn't care about their opinions. O__o
ANYHOWWWWW, so maybe I'll share this blog with someone.
But I'd rather just keep it to myself, I think.
I don't know.
So I should probably do some actual blogging, right ?
Or maybe not. . .
But I could.
And I'm going to
Right Now
HAHH.
So here is my first blogging experience on this blog.
I used to have a different blog, it was www.fantastymassacrebeakdown.blogspot.com .
But too many people read that, that I didn't want reading it. So I had to change all of the privacy settings and make it so that you can only read it if you sign in, and only if I invited you. So if you want to read it, then you can send me an email and I will let you. Because I really don't give a fuuu-udge anymore. . . I'm just too lazy to change the privacy settings.
Lazy.
Ah-huhh.
That's what's on my mind right now, actually.
I'm not stupid, I know I'm talented.
I can write novels very well, my spelling and grammar both are almost perfect.
I can draw pretty alright; I don't suck at it.
Some things I draw are very good.
Mostly I just doodle. . . but my doodling is good, too.
I can play the piano, and I hack computers if I so please, I work for a CPA so I know how to do all your accounting, which is something most adults have a hard time figuring out. Which is why they hire people like my boss, to do it for them.
I can type really fast. . . at least 150 wpm [words per minute]].
That's good.
I have a wonderful memory, I can memorize things very quickly.
I can sew little plushie stuffed animals. And they don't look ridiculous. They look cute. And they aren't all falling apart.
I can sew a lot of things. . .
I am actually pretty smart, I got good scores on my PSAT, and I think I will do well on my SAT.
I can make a lot of vegan foods, stuff that's hard to make that I never thought I'd be close to making. It took me awhile to acquire that skill, actually, because I dislike cooking and I'm actually really bad at it. But vegan stuff, I can make.
I can con almost anyone that I want. Not very respectable. But still something useful that I am good at. The only people I can't con is my boyfriend, my sister's boyfriend [who always sees through me]] and my two other best friends, Jessy and Kaythrunn.
I can do. . . so much.
And I am not doing anything.
I am on the computer, I am scribbling worthless notes in my journal, I am staring into dead space listening to music.
Why do I waste myself like that ?
IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY.
There's so much more I could do, so much more I could be, and I have no one here to tell me that I can do it. Everything is about what I do wrong.
Because I'm lazy
And I waste my time
And I can't argue because they're all so right
And it's so ridiculous
Why don't I do something with all of my talents ?
Why am I just sitting here, when I could be out doing something amazing, somewhere ?
I'm sitting here closing my eyes thinking about Life and where I am in it
And how ridiculous it is to be where I am
When I've done as much work as I have. . .
. . . Which is basically no work at all. . .
. . WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I could do so much And I'm Wasting My Time Doing Nothing
God, I need to get out of this house
Just to go somewhere. . . .anywhere. . . I can't even go to my neighbor's house anymore because my parents don't trust his parents, and the last time I went outside was. . well, this morning, to take out the trash. But before that, it was Thursday, to go to my class, that I didn't even want to go to all that much.
That's almost a week that I've been stuck in this house
Doing nothing
Wanting to see my boyfriend
Just to hold him, for seven minutes, anything at all
Wanting to run away
Wanting just to GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.
And now I am complaining to people that I don't even know, because no one reads this blog, because I haven't told anyone about it. Maybe I should tell someone about it.
Or maybe not. .
Would they read it ?
Probably not.
A few people read my old blog, but not really. . . well, a lot more people read it than I thought, but only a few people would comment on it. But that was ohkayy. I didn't really pay much attention to their comments anyway. Just because, I didn't care about their opinions. O__o
ANYHOWWWWW, so maybe I'll share this blog with someone.
But I'd rather just keep it to myself, I think.
I don't know.
What I've Become
Your Smile Those Eyes
The face I regret not knowing forever
I'm wasting my time wishing life away
Wishing I was your first
I just want to spend it all by your side
I want to do things your way
And It's What I've Become that keeps me running back to you
It's What You Made Me and I love it here
Inside my soul is a restless mess
I could try to run away but time would disappear
And your smile melts my heart
It's like a lighthouse in the f*cking dark
I want you to tell me that your heart is mine.
The sun could fall and so could the night
But Daylight Hours slipping away and
The stars will run behind me again to tell me that it's dusk
And It's What I've Become that keeps me running back to you
And It's What You Made Me and I love it here
And It's What I've Become that keeps me insane
And It's What You Made Me and I love it here
I'd stay here forever
But my heart won't let me
II
And I thought I could only do this in absolute rage but here I am and I am writing so I'm checking into the possibilities that maybe it's only the very strong emotions that bring it on but do I really love you or is it something else I can't tell but I wish I could because this is all so very confusing and I know that I shouldn't feel anything for you at all but all the angels are screaming out because they want me they love me they want me so bad but you can't f*ck with an angel so what am I to do ? And you know you're an angel to me and your pupils are dilated so much so I know that you're lusting for me and I can feel you under me and you're getting harder and harder [to control]] and I want you too but how far are we allowed to go ? The lights are shining like a million f*cking stars and the headlights flashing like an SOS save the world but first save me I'm here in your arms please save me from being this mess that I am.
The Sky
Stuck in this whore-house
And I feel so alive
Bored to my core
Tried to survive
Taking my love back
One word at a time
Pieces that splinter and crack
Fall to the floor forever mine
Memories that strangle me
Faces tangled together
Nothing is ever for free
You're so perfect
I thought you were
worth it
Why did you lie then?
Would you lie now?
How can i know?
Painting rosaries black
Taking it all back
Take it all
back
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Play
Night comes and
Stays for a year
Come close I'll whisper
In your ear
Cracks in your eyes
Cracks in the mirror
No way to disguise
The mess on the floor
Smash your knuckles into the glass
Don't forgive the past
Just forget it all
Forget it. . .
All.
Shut up just
Shut the f*ck up
And use your head
How far off are
You from being dead ?
Everyone knows, but nobody's sure.
Post 1:: The Reason I Made This.
The reason I made this, is because I write song lyrics.
Poems, that are meant to be sung.
Because everything is more beautiful when it is sung.
I used to write my Lyrics down in a note book.
But I can't do that anymore.
That note book is full, and falling apart at best.
So I figured, that I would post my works online.
Probably not a good idea.
I hope nobody logs on and steals all my work.
But I guess it doesn't matter much if they do.
Still my songs.
They won't be able to feel words the way I do.
Poems, that are meant to be sung.
Because everything is more beautiful when it is sung.
I used to write my Lyrics down in a note book.
But I can't do that anymore.
That note book is full, and falling apart at best.
So I figured, that I would post my works online.
Probably not a good idea.
I hope nobody logs on and steals all my work.
But I guess it doesn't matter much if they do.
Still my songs.
They won't be able to feel words the way I do.
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