Shooo. I figured, blog, right ?
So I should probably do some actual blogging, right ?
Or maybe not. . .
But I could.
And I'm going to
Right Now
HAHH.
So here is my first blogging experience on this blog.
I used to have a different blog, it was www.fantastymassacrebeakdown.blogspot.com .
But too many people read that, that I didn't want reading it. So I had to change all of the privacy settings and make it so that you can only read it if you sign in, and only if I invited you. So if you want to read it, then you can send me an email and I will let you. Because I really don't give a fuuu-udge anymore. . . I'm just too lazy to change the privacy settings.
Lazy.
Ah-huhh.
That's what's on my mind right now, actually.
I'm not stupid, I know I'm talented.
I can write novels very well, my spelling and grammar both are almost perfect.
I can draw pretty alright; I don't suck at it.
Some things I draw are very good.
Mostly I just doodle. . . but my doodling is good, too.
I can play the piano, and I hack computers if I so please, I work for a CPA so I know how to do all your accounting, which is something most adults have a hard time figuring out. Which is why they hire people like my boss, to do it for them.
I can type really fast. . . at least 150 wpm [words per minute]].
That's good.
I have a wonderful memory, I can memorize things very quickly.
I can sew little plushie stuffed animals. And they don't look ridiculous. They look cute. And they aren't all falling apart.
I can sew a lot of things. . .
I am actually pretty smart, I got good scores on my PSAT, and I think I will do well on my SAT.
I can make a lot of vegan foods, stuff that's hard to make that I never thought I'd be close to making. It took me awhile to acquire that skill, actually, because I dislike cooking and I'm actually really bad at it. But vegan stuff, I can make.
I can con almost anyone that I want. Not very respectable. But still something useful that I am good at. The only people I can't con is my boyfriend, my sister's boyfriend [who always sees through me]] and my two other best friends, Jessy and Kaythrunn.
I can do. . . so much.
And I am not doing anything.
I am on the computer, I am scribbling worthless notes in my journal, I am staring into dead space listening to music.
Why do I waste myself like that ?
IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY.
There's so much more I could do, so much more I could be, and I have no one here to tell me that I can do it. Everything is about what I do wrong.
Because I'm lazy
And I waste my time
And I can't argue because they're all so right
And it's so ridiculous
Why don't I do something with all of my talents ?
Why am I just sitting here, when I could be out doing something amazing, somewhere ?
I'm sitting here closing my eyes thinking about Life and where I am in it
And how ridiculous it is to be where I am
When I've done as much work as I have. . .
. . . Which is basically no work at all. . .
. . WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I could do so much And I'm Wasting My Time Doing Nothing
God, I need to get out of this house
Just to go somewhere. . . .anywhere. . . I can't even go to my neighbor's house anymore because my parents don't trust his parents, and the last time I went outside was. . well, this morning, to take out the trash. But before that, it was Thursday, to go to my class, that I didn't even want to go to all that much.
That's almost a week that I've been stuck in this house
Doing nothing
Wanting to see my boyfriend
Just to hold him, for seven minutes, anything at all
Wanting to run away
Wanting just to GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.
And now I am complaining to people that I don't even know, because no one reads this blog, because I haven't told anyone about it. Maybe I should tell someone about it.
Or maybe not. .
Would they read it ?
Probably not.
A few people read my old blog, but not really. . . well, a lot more people read it than I thought, but only a few people would comment on it. But that was ohkayy. I didn't really pay much attention to their comments anyway. Just because, I didn't care about their opinions. O__o
ANYHOWWWWW, so maybe I'll share this blog with someone.
But I'd rather just keep it to myself, I think.
I don't know.
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