Post 37:: Fuck the Haters That speak, Cause I Hate That You Breathe

yeah, my left shift-key button doesn't work, and i never use the right shift-key button, so there are going to be quite a few errors in this blogpost. it's not that i'm not pressing the key. i am. i just capitalized all of those i's. all of them. and that 'a'.
\groan\\
fuckin' . . . . nevermind.

my boyfriend is kind of a dick.
but whatever, mann. . . i mean. . . i don't know. i love him. he just has no sense of normal relationships. like, there's stuff that you just don't tell people. . . and he doesn't get it.  ohh well. i mean. . . he's just a little boy, after all. He acts so grown up and mature, but. .. .he's not.
it's ohkayy though. it's how all boys are. i just wish . .  gah i don't know what i wish.

new year's eve is coming !!! plans have changed, and victorian and i are going to some random bed&+breakfast in Romeo or some place like that. we've got a room and a laptop and movies and no mum. our plans so far consist of::
--> snacks
--> REPO: the genetic Opera
--> Sweeney Todd
-->Gypsy 83
--> The lion king 2
--> more snacks
--> wild partying
ohh and
--> strippers and popcorn.
LOL JUST KIDDING
about the popcorn

Anywayy my plugs keep falling out of my ears for no apparent reason. i've been wearing this pair for like,  . . the past year or something and they've never done that, but all of a sudden, they're like, 'cool, kayybye i'mma fall off now'' and i'm just like, 'ohh shit mann''. it's harsh.

tomorrow i'm going to Julia's house. I invited myself over. Cause i'm fucking boss.

i dyed my hair red

so deal with it, bitches.
yeahh it fucking glows.
i've been listening to Hollywood Undead too much.
i'm swearing like a motherfucking sailor.
but who cares, really. . . pirates are sexy and we all know it.
THIS MAN looks pretty good too. it's the longer hair and the clothing. so hot. i like my men older. lolkidding. i dated a 13 year old once.
anywayy
i'd like to forget about Tyler, thank you very much.
i really gotta stop blogging at such odd hours

Post 36:: Merry Vodka Christmas.

I'm kinda tipsy right now, I'm not even gonna lie.
Fuckin'. . .  . Christmas. . .  So terrible, mann.
SO TERRIBLE.
Said some things I really shouldn't have said, and then ran away. . . . and sat outside of the library, cause you know i'm just so fucking badass, awwwww yeeeeaaa.
I totally don't know what shirt size Aidan is, cause I've seen the tags on 8 of his shirts and theyy were all different sizes. So then I decided to go and look at the shirts that he had let me borrow. One was XL and one was S. So like, what in the actual fuck ?? I guess I need to wait for him to get home so I can ask him what size he is, cause. . yeahh.
Good news:: I'm getting a cell phone. Whoop-de-fucking-doo;; I'm almost 18, might as well buy my own fucking phone ? Derp.
Bad news:: my dad gets to pick it out and it's going to be pay as you go.
This is whyy it is going to be a shit-as-you-go:: Cause back in February or no, wait it was January, back when I had my own phone, I gave my dad $5 and he was like, 'unlimited texting ? Sure." and then two dayys later he said he got it for me. But guess what ? He didn't. So i went WAYY over my amount of texts that he had gotten me, not knowing that i didn't have unlimited.
So it's my dad's fault, right ?
Wrong.
It's somehow my fault.
BUT HOW IS IT MY FAULT. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I WAS DOING ANYTHING WRONG, HE TOLD ME THAT I HAD UNLIMITED.
Whaaaaaaaat.
Aah, my arms are so tired and I can already tell that I'm going to have a hangover tomorrow. . .I have to go to a cocktail party tomorrow, a black-tie-affair, and my hair is currently the colour of fuckin'. . . rudolph's nose. I'm not kidding. The first dayy i dyed it, it was literally glowing. In the dark. My family laughed so hard. .
Anywayy.
Whyy are theyy called cocktails ?
Is it because after you've had enough, the cock goes up your-- nevermind.
I spent wayy too much money this christmas and then I only got one thing for Aidan, i need to get him something else but I don't know what to get him, because i want it to be meaningful; last year I knitted him a scarf that was really nice. . . he said he loved it, but i don't know cause he never wears it as far as i can see, but whatever that's not my call. And it's not like i ever see him anywayy, so how do I even know ?
Hurmf.
Ideas, ideas. . .
Julia said to get him food.
i got him food for his birthdayy.
Ohh, his birthdayy.. . . I got him a birthdayy present ! He didn't get me anything for my birthdayy. Maybe the birthdayy present I got him can like. . . carry over into Christmas. .
. . . Nevermind. I'll just get him something else. I'll think of something and I'll give it to him, cause I heard he had a pretty bad christmas so far.
Gah, i haven't played League of Legends in like 3 dayys, NEW RECORD.
I miss Aserus. I bet he's leveled up. . . . . . I miss that kid.

For New Year's my mum and I are going to the Bavarian Inn or whatever that one place in Frankenmuth is; with the water park or whatever, and we're taking my second-cousin Robin. [side note:: Robin now plays League of Legends, and her username is Victorian Android (like her blog name)) and I am so used to calling her 'Victorian" that yesterdayy I called her 'Victorian" instead of 'Robin", i thought it was really funny, but anywayy i digress]] The only problem with this arrangement is that I'm kind of terrified of water ?? I'm hydrophobic and I don't swim. . Like, i kinda-sorta-KINDA got over that this Summer, but not really, I'm still scared as shit to go swimming, and I don't wanna go in past my knees, I would reallly rather just avoid water at all. . . Ohh and my dad isn't coming, cause he has 'obligations".
I'm tired of him bailling out. . there was so much tension todayy.
So much tension, doe. .
. . He's being such. . a jerk. . . lately. . . gotta go make another screwdriver because my mum just came in and saw that I was drinking, and she didn't even yell, she just sat down and cried while i typed and then asked me if I would make her one, so here we go bitches, drinking with my mum while i'm 17, ohh fuckyea.

Post 35:: Back To the Same Old Thing.

as you know from Post 33, my dayy has been such utter crap. And i really wanted to talk to this one guy. So badly. And then when we finally had time to talk, he wanted to play LoL. And then he went to play another game with his friend Ben, and I didn't want to play.
So he went and played without me.
I, of course, was a bitch about it to him.
But this time i feel like he deserved it.
Ben was feeling down. .. . that's great.
I'm sorry your friend was upset.
But guess what, there's someone else in your life who's upset, and she wants five minutes of your time to talk to you. When we talked earlier, he was playing minecraft. Then he wanted to play LoL. I'm tired of these games--literally. I know he gives me a lot and I know he makes so many sacrifices for me but sometimes it doesn't fucking feel like he gives a rat's ass about me.
Which i know is unreasonable, because I know he cares.
It just doesn't feel like it sometimes.
Like right now.

Post 34:: Leekspin and Body Parts.

So, my boyfriend watches the Leekspin videos. . . . . and apparently he dances around his friend's basement madly for the duration of them.
Obviously,  I've known about Leekspin for awhile. Hell, Leekspin.com used to be on my favorites.
But. . .. . . . he likes Leekspin ?
SINCE WHEN ?
I really don't know as much about him as I thought I did. . . come to think of it, I hardly know anything about his actual life at all. Like, he never tells me. .. . anything. . . . just when he's upset about something. I never hear about those random little things. Like what he had for dinner.
But I'm guessing if I knew what he had for dinner, I would just sit quietly feeling hurt that he supports the cruelty of the meat industry. So. Maybe it's better.
But.
Leekspin. . . . . . dayumn.
Also, the longest I've leekspun is 23:48. In case you were wondering.

Anywayy, i hate it when girls are like, "I hate my___".
And it's a body part that I've never ever thought to hate about myself.
This girl on Dailybooth was like, "this is why I hate my nose !!" And her nose looked fine to me. .
I was sitting there like, "but . . . what's wrong with your nose ?? It's just a nose. Are noses something to be self-conscious about ? Oh my god, what if i have a horrible nose and i never payyed attention to it. . . "

Thanks for making me insecure, random girls. Thank you so much. I haven't been having a problem with that as it is, obviously.


Ohh, so I was helping with this musical that was apparently 300 kinds of hot shit, and they're making it into a CD/DVD. I have doubts and speculations, but we'll see where this goes. \cough\\nowhere ?\cough\\

I want to write a story. . . very badly. . but I wouldn't know what to write about. I just. . can't think of anything. My mind, it's blank. . . I need inspiration. Someone inspire me.

Post 33:: Killing Myself Over College.

I'm not really going to kill myself. . . But I am very upset and I did cry a lot both todayy and yesterdayy.
Here's the deal::
I'm homeschooled, so my transcripts don't get sent anywhere fast. My mum didn't request that my transcripts be sent into Wayne, and i asked her to over a month ago. She said she had requested them, but todayy i got fed up with just waiting around and not seeing my admission to Wayne going anywhere anytime soon. So I called the office of Admissions at Wayne and then I called MODG [the homeschooling curriculum that's supposed to send in my shit]] and they were like, 'there was never a request for transcripts" and i was like 'are you fucking with me ?" only i didn't really sayy that because it's a Catholic homeschooling program and I didn't think theyy would appreciate it, plus I'm just a nice person.
Anywayy, so here's the thing:: I need the presidential scholarship. It's basically free college. . . and I'm eligible for it. So uhh. Fuck yeahh. And. I need this scholarship, but in order to get it, you need to attend 'Scholar's Day" and in order to attend Scholar's Day you need to receive an invite for it in the mail. But since Wayne hasn't gotten my transcripts yet, theyy can't even consider me for an invitation and the invites are being sent out in the beginning of January; My transcripts won't even be there by then.

If I miss Scholar's Day then I don't get a scholarship and if i don't get a scholarship then I don't get to go to college there and I have to go to Community College which is a nightmare for me and I refuse to do this.

Pretty much my entire future is leaning on me going to Wayne.
I refuse to go to stupid-people-college, aka Community College.
It's not that people who go there are stupid, it's that I personally think that I wouldn't get much from an education at a Community College. I could teach myself better than the professors there.

. .. . . guys.
This is whyy we don't homeschool our children.