Post 17:: Last Night In Madrid !!

on August 18th I kind of lost it for the whole dayy, like it sucked. In case you didn't know, that was supposed to be Aidan and I's one-year anniversary. But uhm. Yeahh. That didn't happen. So. Sadness.

SOME SHIT HAS BEEN GOING DOWN, but basically this country is GREAT. Tomorrow I'm leaving to go back in time [6 hours]] and I'll be home. I'm pretty sad about it, actually. Spain is pretty amazing, minus the menu and the stress that we're getting from the adults on the trip. WYD was all i thought it would be and more. Fiestas every night, and sleepovers between hotel rooms and geckos running around the streets. It's lovely here, honestly. And theyy don't card you for alcohol. ;D

I miss a few of my friends. . .  O.o Just a few. .
and my closet
and my bed
and my bagful of facewashes that i forgot to pack.
But that's it. I could stayy here with Marilyn, Megan, Paulina, Frenchie and Misko forever. I LOVE IT HERE. The shops, and the sangria, and the fact that everything is so warm and wonderful here. . . Ahhh. I don't know what to think about the fact that I don't miss my parents, though. Because I really don't miss them. I just want to get a job and settle down here. I've picked up alot of Spanish words here. I think I could learn the language fairly easily.

Also, I got my ears pierced. On my left ear i got the middle cartilage pierced, on my right ear i got the upper cartilage pierced. For 11 Euro each, which is roughly 17 Dollars.

AND, theyy have 2 Euro Sangria at this one place in downtown Madrid at the Sol de Plaza, and it is THE BEST SANGRIA I have ever had. Honestly. It's more like a juicebox than anything else.

By the wayy, if you haven't heard the song 'Across The Endless Sea" by Fairyland, go listen to it.

The other night, my sister's boyfriend came into our room [which has been designated the 'party room"]], and brought the American flag that he had been carrying all dayy. Megan, one of my roomates, went, 'whyy did you bring the flag ?" and he goes, 'I thought we were having a party." Marilyn's like, 'what ? So whyy did you bring the flag ? What are we supposed to do with it ?" And Matt's all like, 'uhmm. . i don't know, wave it around and stuff ?" So now, we have the flag at every party we have.

I need to go PARTY, so i'll talk to you guys later.
Buh-byee.

Post 16:: Leavin' Fer SHPAIN.

Matthew, my sister's boyfriend, told me that he would play Magic The Gathering with me on the plane. YAYAYAYA. I'm so happy about that. Like really. NO ONE EVER wants to learn how to playy Magic. Makes me so sad. . . D:

anywho. I'm leaving tomorrow morning !! Leaving my parents and my pet fish and my bed and my rug and my door and my flowers and Oscar. Oscar is my pet Venus Fly Trap. He's cute <3

GAH, I'm so stoked and totally freaked at the same time.

I miss Aidan. . Dammit. I hate my life. . . . . owhrof;aj od;jv;ojc ..

BUT THE THING IS,
Magic on the plane,
and going to Spain
and going to France, and Portugal as well.

8D

I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, AND WHEN I DO, I WILL BE AN EXPERIENCED TRAVELER.

heh heh heh.

Post 15:: Raina Synethsia's Breakdown.

So I have been not ohkayy.
Aidan left me. . . and was so cold and cruel about it.
How can you spend one whole year loving someone who never felt anything for you ?
Like, how did I even manage it ?
I don't know. . but I guess I did it . . .
Aidan said we're too young to know what love is.
Also, a bunch of other stuff. . .and that I shouldn't try to contact him anymore.
"If we're meant to be, our paths will cross again," he said.
Is he mentally impaired ?
That's not happening . . . . paths don't just, cross. Someone has to make them cross.
I am going to go and sulk now.
Maybe with some coffee, and then i will take my pills.
Meds or Madness.

Post 14:: How Things Are

SO, some shiiiiiii--. . stuff, has been going on lately, which is whyy I have been absent from Blogger.
I guess i don't really blog that much anywayy, but. .
Gah.
So here's the deal::
I dyed my hair purple, with blue and pink streaks. This is my current profile picture on facebook. Can't really tell what my hair looks like, but. . . rainbow powers, mann. =D

Also, this is a picture of me and my pet snake, named Fish. She just got bred with another snake, and she laid three eggs. . sadly, theyy didn't make it. But she's adorable, and she's my baby <3 

And i added a picture of her twined around my wrist. Because I can. 

She is seriously one of the best things in my life right now. .

So you know how I'm going to Spain ? Well, I'm used to thinking that it's really far off, like in months. . . BUT NO, I'M LEAVING IN TWO WEEKS. And then it's three weeks in foreign countries without either of my parents. 

OMG.

I'm kinda freaking out hugely about this. 

I mean, it's going to be an amazing experience. .. but it could go horribly wrong and be really awful, as well. It's not like some arranged trip or something that's super-organized. It's World Youth Day, for God's sake. I COULD DIE. LIKE, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT ?

DIE.

Of . . so many things. And . .  and. . . I don't even know what to get anyone from anywhere !! I'm going to Lourdes, France; Fatima, Portugal; Santa De Compostla, and Madrid, Spain. And NO ONE . KNOWS. WHAT THEYY WANT. Like, not even any hints, nothing. . . .Ughh.

People are so dumb. 

Also, I have been addicted to this game. I am in place 201 as of todayy. Which sounds pretty bad, but when you see how many people have played it, and therefore how many scores there are, it's actually really good. So I'm happy with myself and my waste of time. It's a flash game on [adultswim], so yeahh, go playy it, it's free and you don't have to download anything, or anything.

SO there's this girl. . . and she drives me crazy. . .and I don't even know whyy. . I'm just so jealous of her, and I don't have any reason to be jealous of her, I just am. 

And I love this girl, like she is one of my closest friends, because we all know I don't open up to many people. . . but sometime I just feel like stabbing her with a fork. 

But i wouldn't stab her with a fork. . cuz I like her.

She's cool. . 

And I like her.

Muhr muhr muhr, what else has been going on in my boring life.

Not really much. Just teenage drama as usual. 

I watched the video for Within Temptaion's song "Ice Queen" and almost cried at the cheesiness of it. What happened to videos like Angels, and Faster ? Like really, this sucked.. . 

There's something in my house that I am highly allergic to, and i keep breaking out in hives, like all over my arms and legs and no one knows what it is that I'm allergic to and it's ICKY.

Post 13:: Slurpee Straws.

This post actually has nothing to do with Slurpee straws, but I couldn't think of a title for this post, and there's a straw wrapper from a Slurpee tied around my wrist like a bracelet, so. .
That's what happened there.
Todayy has been simply craptastic. . and there is so much that I want to complain about,
But really. .who's listening ?

/raises hand// I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW PICK ME

/points// Alright, weird girl with the brown and red and purple hair.

/beams proudly// NO ONE ?

Right. . no one. No one's listening. I could scream so loud and no one would listen. I can drop all the hints that I want, but no one is going to listen, and if I complain, I am just whining.

I mean. . I don't like complaining about things 24/7, but it would be nice to talk to someone who isn't part of what I'm complaining about. I miss Jessy, my Pickle. My best friend since 2006. . . . I miss her so much. She's all busy with school. .. .

And i miss Robert, who was my gay penguin lover. . except he was neither gay nor my lover, and he actually hated penguins. I don't even know where I would contact him anymore. .

I miss Annadee. . I'm friends with her on facebook, but she's changed so much it's scary, and now she's engaged. . what is this ? I can't even hold a conversation with her, and we used to talk for hours and hours on end, about the most random shit. Nail polish, whatever. Last time I talked to her, she was seventeen. Now she's twenty-two. And I don't even know. .what do twenty-two year olds talk about, anywayy ??

I miss Kay and Lory, and Karem, and. .everyone. All of them. Every one of my internet friends. Even Jeremy Fisher..  that total creep. .yeahh, i miss him too. ( XD )

Remember when Buzznet was cool. . .??

And when it didn't look like a glorified Tumblr/Twitter ?

/sighhh//
. .
. . . . Life sucks, people change, then you die.

Post 12:: Swap My Ten Month Spit, Baby.

WARNING:: The following blog post contains mature adult content. . . Or not. But really. Prepare for mushyness. I am feeling incredibly In-Love with my boyfriend right now. And i also thought that todayy would be a good time to analyze kissing. So. Beware. . You've Been Warned.

Alright alright alright.

So I'm just sitting here, thinking about absolutely nothing other than the fact that my second-cousin is giving her dad Star Wars pancake shapers for Father's Day, when it hits me--Todayy, is Aidan's graduation party.
Going on. Right now. And me ? When am I doing, while my boyfriend is celebrating the fact that he has graduated highschool, with his friends and family. And not his girlfriend. Mann, this is fucked.

I'm sorry. I just get upset about this stuff.

Anywayy. . . so I was thinking. Kissing, is really, really, really weird.
Think about it:: if someone spit in a cup, would you just pick it up and drink it ?. . . .. If you sayy yes, you're a weirdo. But listenlistenlisten.So. . . kissing, is called 'swapping spit" for a reason. I don't know about you, but I tryy to AVOID getting spit on when i can help it. And in my mouth ? Ewh ewh ewh. But. . . kissing is different. Whyy is it different.
I can't wrap my head around kissing. I just really can't. How can it be so completely wonderful.  . when all it is, is your lips touching, your tongues touching, and . . . spit swapping ?
. . Meh.
Not that, I don't like spit swapping. With Aidan. . Aidan is the best at spit swapping, that i have ever swapped spit with. When I kiss Aidan, I can still taste him on my lips for the next few hours.
This one person I kissed, long ago, was really good at it, too. . he was rough and gentle in all the right places at all the right times, and his kisses were almost perfect. . but not as good as Aidan's.
Is it because I love Aidan that I think he's so much better than everyone else ? I'm not going to lie and say that my feelings aren't probably contributing to it. 'It" being the absolute amazingness of Aidan's lips.
Did you guys read that ?
I'll type it again.
The absolute amazingness of Aidan's lips.
Every kiss is perfect and strange and full of passion and love and longing. The short, sweet ones, have underlying tones of something more. The long, passionate ones have less of underlying tones--and more of a blatant sense of need. But they're all perfect. Each and every one. From the first time he pulled me onto his lap and kissed me, at the top of a concrete stairwell outside his highschool, to the last time we kissed, a week ago.
I'm not sayying this to gross you all out.
I swear I'm not.
Nor am I sayying this to be one of those girls who babbles about her boyfriend, and how wonderful he is, all of the time.
I am sayying this because yesterdayy, June Eighteenth, was Aidan and I's ten-month anniversary. Ten months. . . and four of those, we weren't allowed to see eachother for.
I'm sayying this because despite the shit  we've had to go through, Aidan and I are still together. We're still strong. We're more in love than you could ever hope to know.
I'm sayying this because the amount of love that I feel for Aidan Rickel is overwhelming and it frightens me and I need to try to sayy something, anything, about him, in a sad attempt to describe his perfection.

Ohh, I know he's not perfect.
God knows that Aidan has his faults, as does everyone else.
But for me ? Every one of his imperfections only adds to the perfection that I see in him. Aidan's soul, as I see it, is so beautiful, and good, and perfect.
I Love him so much.
And I know he doesn't read this blog. . . I think I told him about it once, but he probably forgot. So I can feel perfectly fine sayying this mushy stuff.
I don't know what's come over me. . honestly, I don't.
I'm never this sappy and pathetic. . I'm not. I swear to you, I am never like this.
. . .on the outside. I'll think it, but i never sayy it. My Journal is going to carry my secrets until its destruction, and the amount of mushy things I have said about Aidan in my Journal is overwhelming.
But out loud . . ?
Never.
So consider yourselves intrinsically lucky to be reading this.
Aidan Rickel, I fucking love you, and I miss you

Emilie Autumn Concert Photos [finally]]

 The Blessed Contessa, spitting tea on us.

 Emilie Autumn, no zoom used. 8D

 Captain Maggot. Is sexxy.

 More of Captain Maggot

 THE BLESSED CONTESSA. She swallowed fire. IT WAS AWESOME.

 Mhmm;

 Opheliac.

 This is Captain Maggot.

 This is Captain Maggot on stilts. 

 Emilie Autumn and Veronica Varlow kissing.

 Veronica's fandance.

 Veronicaaahhhhhh

 Captain Maggot's flaming hula hoop. =D

 yerp

 Emilie, during 4 o'Clock.

And, this is the pizza guy being confused, because someone in line ordered a pizza,

and he didn't know where to deliver it to.