Post 12:: Swap My Ten Month Spit, Baby.

WARNING:: The following blog post contains mature adult content. . . Or not. But really. Prepare for mushyness. I am feeling incredibly In-Love with my boyfriend right now. And i also thought that todayy would be a good time to analyze kissing. So. Beware. . You've Been Warned.

Alright alright alright.

So I'm just sitting here, thinking about absolutely nothing other than the fact that my second-cousin is giving her dad Star Wars pancake shapers for Father's Day, when it hits me--Todayy, is Aidan's graduation party.
Going on. Right now. And me ? When am I doing, while my boyfriend is celebrating the fact that he has graduated highschool, with his friends and family. And not his girlfriend. Mann, this is fucked.

I'm sorry. I just get upset about this stuff.

Anywayy. . . so I was thinking. Kissing, is really, really, really weird.
Think about it:: if someone spit in a cup, would you just pick it up and drink it ?. . . .. If you sayy yes, you're a weirdo. But listenlistenlisten.So. . . kissing, is called 'swapping spit" for a reason. I don't know about you, but I tryy to AVOID getting spit on when i can help it. And in my mouth ? Ewh ewh ewh. But. . . kissing is different. Whyy is it different.
I can't wrap my head around kissing. I just really can't. How can it be so completely wonderful.  . when all it is, is your lips touching, your tongues touching, and . . . spit swapping ?
. . Meh.
Not that, I don't like spit swapping. With Aidan. . Aidan is the best at spit swapping, that i have ever swapped spit with. When I kiss Aidan, I can still taste him on my lips for the next few hours.
This one person I kissed, long ago, was really good at it, too. . he was rough and gentle in all the right places at all the right times, and his kisses were almost perfect. . but not as good as Aidan's.
Is it because I love Aidan that I think he's so much better than everyone else ? I'm not going to lie and say that my feelings aren't probably contributing to it. 'It" being the absolute amazingness of Aidan's lips.
Did you guys read that ?
I'll type it again.
The absolute amazingness of Aidan's lips.
Every kiss is perfect and strange and full of passion and love and longing. The short, sweet ones, have underlying tones of something more. The long, passionate ones have less of underlying tones--and more of a blatant sense of need. But they're all perfect. Each and every one. From the first time he pulled me onto his lap and kissed me, at the top of a concrete stairwell outside his highschool, to the last time we kissed, a week ago.
I'm not sayying this to gross you all out.
I swear I'm not.
Nor am I sayying this to be one of those girls who babbles about her boyfriend, and how wonderful he is, all of the time.
I am sayying this because yesterdayy, June Eighteenth, was Aidan and I's ten-month anniversary. Ten months. . . and four of those, we weren't allowed to see eachother for.
I'm sayying this because despite the shit  we've had to go through, Aidan and I are still together. We're still strong. We're more in love than you could ever hope to know.
I'm sayying this because the amount of love that I feel for Aidan Rickel is overwhelming and it frightens me and I need to try to sayy something, anything, about him, in a sad attempt to describe his perfection.

Ohh, I know he's not perfect.
God knows that Aidan has his faults, as does everyone else.
But for me ? Every one of his imperfections only adds to the perfection that I see in him. Aidan's soul, as I see it, is so beautiful, and good, and perfect.
I Love him so much.
And I know he doesn't read this blog. . . I think I told him about it once, but he probably forgot. So I can feel perfectly fine sayying this mushy stuff.
I don't know what's come over me. . honestly, I don't.
I'm never this sappy and pathetic. . I'm not. I swear to you, I am never like this.
. . .on the outside. I'll think it, but i never sayy it. My Journal is going to carry my secrets until its destruction, and the amount of mushy things I have said about Aidan in my Journal is overwhelming.
But out loud . . ?
Never.
So consider yourselves intrinsically lucky to be reading this.
Aidan Rickel, I fucking love you, and I miss you

Emilie Autumn Concert Photos [finally]]

 The Blessed Contessa, spitting tea on us.

 Emilie Autumn, no zoom used. 8D

 Captain Maggot. Is sexxy.

 More of Captain Maggot

 THE BLESSED CONTESSA. She swallowed fire. IT WAS AWESOME.

 Mhmm;

 Opheliac.

 This is Captain Maggot.

 This is Captain Maggot on stilts. 

 Emilie Autumn and Veronica Varlow kissing.

 Veronica's fandance.

 Veronicaaahhhhhh

 Captain Maggot's flaming hula hoop. =D

 yerp

 Emilie, during 4 o'Clock.

And, this is the pizza guy being confused, because someone in line ordered a pizza,

and he didn't know where to deliver it to.

Post 11:: The New Romeo & Juliet.

My best friends maintain that Aidan and I are like the new-age Romeo And Juliet.
Only cooler. ..
I accept this.
I wish things didn't have to be this wayy, but whatever, because I really can't do anything about it until next year when I turn 18 anyway. . .. RAUGHHHHH.
Anyhow.

I saw Aidan todayy !! For about, an hour. But it was wonderful, all the same. It wasn't long enough. . .It's never long enough.

EVERYYYTHING IS NEVERRRR ENOUGHHHH <---my burst of song.


Meh, anywayy, I am watching Saturdayy Night Live. Theyy playyed The Strokes on it. SO HAPPY !!!!

But listen, so Aidan and I were together todayy, yes, and since I promised you guys in my last blog that I would give you a picture, be happy with these::

and so there you go. Well, kidds. . That's pretty much all.
WAIT, no.
I found something funny.
My face literally looks almost EXACTLY LIKE THIS, whenever someone disses AFI::

MADE.
MY.
DAYY.

Post 10:: Julia is Julia is Julia is Iizjulia.

This is Julia:: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0nrdqRL40Y&feature=player_embedded#at=157
She is my best friend, and my cousin. And she always makes me hahahahappppyyy insideeeee =D

Kind of like this song::
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dq-efEfJvpw&feature=related

Anyhow, but no. Julia is like. . . always there.
LITERALLY, always there.
She ALWAYS answers her phone. . .unless she doesn't, and then I manage to get ahold of her somehow anywayy. And she does always make me smile, without fail. ALWAYS.
I was going through some tough shit recently, and then she's like,
      'well here's what you do:: First of all, you sit down with some cookie dough, and you get on youtube and watch videos about kittens, and--"
     "Kittens ? What ? Whyy ?" I asked.
      "CUZ THEY'RE ALL HAPPY AND LIKE, YAY," she said. I feel like that was a perfectly reasonable response, too. Especially after I found this on Tumblr::

<--click on it to see the video.

So anywayy. . Uhrm. I pretty much don't have anything to sayy todayy, other than that i am feeling supersignificantly better than yesterdayy.
I promised you I'd post my Emilie Autumn pictures, didn't I. . /facepalm// I'll get them up as soon as I . . . /cough// remember. =D

Angles of the Angels.

      Sleepless nights and lips locked tight and holding hands in October air, together forever perfection whatever yearning for change and no one's changing but your heart's still beating faster and I'm here calling for you waiting for you wondering where are you and we're united and it's the irreverent lust for an angel and I'm screaming with need for your perfection, your protection as beneath me you're getting so much

      Harder harder you have to try harder or we can't make this work and it has to work it has to you don't understand this darkness that's closing in and choking me in its panicked rage. Bruised and worn and victorious and losing it are all the very same but it's not yet termination so maybe we can pull this through with one of your card tricks, sleight of hand or slip of mind ? I'm breathing in your scent while i'm sleeping and we wish that we could

      F*ck this daydream now tell me a story, the one with all the explosions and hate and the two lovers who stood by each other through it all and for everything although she failed her world because

He was her world.

Post 9:: Just Like A Dream. . Just Like Heaven

I've been having a lot of problems lately.
The ones that are the hardest are the ones that I am having with my relationship.
This isn't a drama blog, so I'm not going into details.
But I've been a complete wreck.
I broke up with my boyfriend, but every time I go to facebook to change my relationship status, I click the 'single" button, and then it says, 'Your Relationship With Aidan Rickel Will Be Canceled Upon Saving".
And I can't do it.
I can't bring myself to click it.
I don't want to lose him.
But it's so awful and I don't know if i can take it.
I don't know what to do. .
I am so in love with him.
But I don't know. . what to do. . .at all. .
I'm so upset.

But I will try to push it aside and blog about something else. If possible.

Uhhm. . . Tumblr ? I have a Tumblr. username is Rainarainbow. Go, follow me and reblog my stuff, and such.

Ahh, I can't do this. I keep thinking about Aidan and I can't stand it.
I'm an idiot.

Spinning on that dizzy edge, I kissed her face and kissed her head, and dreamed of all the different wayys I had to make her glow.  Why are you so far away ? She said, Why won't you ever know, that I'm in love with you. That I'm in love with you. You--soft and only. You--lost and lonely. You--Strange as angels. Dancing in the deepest oceans, twisting in the water, You're Just Like A Dream.. .  You--soft and only. You--lost and lonely. You--Just Like Heaven.

Post 8:: Mice Jokes.

Recently, I've found myself in the throes of a new obsession. It isn't a band, or a cartoon character. It's Mice Jokes.
Yehpp. I'm obsessed with telling jokes about mice.
Don't ask how I got into this, please.
But here's some of my favorites::

Q:: What's the hardest part of milking a mouse ?
A:: Getting it to fit over a bucket 


Hickory hickory dock.
The mouse ran up the clock
The clock struck one
But the rest got away with minor injuries 


Q::How do you save a drowning mouse ?
A:: Use mouse to mouse resuscitation


And here are some that are just plain awful::


Q::What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside?
A:: A mouse sandwich


Q:: What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them ?
A:: Mice Krispies.


So you see what my life is like right now. Mice Jokes and Awful Mice Jokes.




On another note, I turn Seventeen on Mondayy, the Sixth, and I had a cousins-only birthdayy party yesterdayy. Which was awesome, because I love my cousins so much. 
We all wore party hats, too. 
And shit went down, somewhere in the middle of the party, and all my cousins were there to back me up. I love them all.


JULIA <3 ROBIN <3 GENNI <3 JILLIAN
for the win =D

I Want To Be There

NOTE:: I'm going through some shit right now. So I wrote a song about this shit. I might sing and upload it later for you. I don't know. Probably not.

I wanna be good
I wanna be ohkayy
I wanna be there for you
No matter what
I wanna be scared
I wanna be thrilled
I wanna be there with you
No matter what
But I can't take this
And we can't take this
I can't even trust you
And how can I love you
I wanna be yours
I wanna be on my own
I wanna be there without you
But that's a lie.

Post 7:: Guess What, Kidds !

my eleven-year-old friend Genni [yes i have a friend who's eleven. Don't judge me]] just got her period.
I'm on the phone with my best friend, her older sister Julia. It's kind of epic.
Anywayy, I haven't much interesting things to talk about, really.
I'm sorry.
But I am having a birthdayy party tomorrow, for a few of my closest friends.
SO YAY <3 !